Out of This World

09/29/2005

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Has anybody seen the cheesy 80′s sitcom Out of This World? It was terrible. But, besides that, the main character had this sweet ability to put her fingers together and stop time. Then she could run around and unfreeze other people and get into all kinds of antics before she would unfreeze time again. Like, in the intro, a ladder tips over with a bucket of paint on it, the paint is about to hit her when she quickly sticks her fingers together and the paint freezes in mid air. She is able to avoid the paint disaster!
I wish I could do that. I may even stick it in the top five list of my superpower wishes wishlist (along with teleportation, absorbing knowledge, turning into a fish, and being able to put on my shoes really really fast). My only question is, does she continue to age during the frozen time? Cuz that would suck. If she doesn’t, that would totally RULE!
I’ve needed some frozen time lately. My sickness still isn’t going away, so I’ve been totally dragging. My voice sounds all scratchy and yuck. A lot of my normal teaching methods have been waysided since I can’t just outtalk my students anymore. I have to stand there like Feris Buller’s teacher slowly, quietly, expectantly asking my class to shut up. Exept I stand there and go, “If your neighbors are talking, give them hand. …Anyday people… …I’m keeping you after class for every second that I have to wait… …Anyday now people… …anyday…” *Shudders* I hate doing that.
So, I started wishing I could freeze time. Then I could stop time and sleep, or tape mouths shut of students who are talking, or just remove some kids from the class completely (like stick them in the back of science class instead). Then, when time started again they’d be all, “WHAT JUST HAPPENED!?!” And I’d be all, “You should have listened to me in the first place!!! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-Ha-HAAAAA!”
Sweet.