Babywise & Attachment Parenting

A friend of mine and several of my old coworkers swear by the book Babywise. It basically teaches parents how to put their babies on a schedule so that baby will fit into the parents’ lives better. When Caleb was born, I took on more of an attachment parenting method and loved The Baby Book by Dr. Sears.
So, I read Babywise over the last week to see what it was all about. No offense to any of my friends who are using this method, but I think Josh got tired of me shouting out while reading it. I got frustrated at how the book portrayed attachment parenting, as though I’m some kind of overworked, exhausted mother sacrificing everything to cater to every little whim of my child. Oh, and of course my child will be uber-spoiled and obese because I do on-cue feeding. And I should never nurse my baby to sleep because I am giving him a crutch. And so on, sarcasm intended.
I think the book had a few good things to say, but overall I found the scheduling method to be a bunch of hooey. I don’t think it’s possible to mess a kid up by building a strong parent-child trust and attachment.
One nice thing about reading the Babywise book is that it helped me to feel more confident about the choices Josh and I have decided to make (a.k.a. not following the Babywise book!). That, and Caleb is a very happy, observant little guy. I think the choices we are making are overall working very well for us and that makes me happy.

4 thoughts on “Babywise & Attachment Parenting”

All those books that preach their own parenting philosophy portray every other parenting philosophy that’s not theirs as cruel and evil.

I don’t really think you can read any other philosophy of parenting after you have already settled on your own style. I read babywise before Lexi was born and didn’t agree with most of it – all though we are/were big fans of letting her cry it out and sooth herself to sleep. I’m not saying everyone should do it, but it worked and it worked well for us. And I read one of Sears’ books after you talked about him – the Sleep Book – and I felt like he was saying anyone who didn’t do attachment parenting was basically doing their child a disservice or that Lexi would not be as happy, alert and smart as children who were raised by his methods.
I’ve had friends go to both ends of the spectrum – following Sears to the letter and following Babywise to the letter and the kids all seem to be happy functioning toddlers.
But that’s just my rant.

Actually, as I was falling asleep after reading this entry I realized that there were some things I forgot to say & you two covered parts of them! I wanted to also add that Dr. Sears’ books are also pretty negative about other books (his repeated suggestion of “beware of baby trainers.”). I think, in the end, we all have the same parenting method which is “do the best you can with the knowledge you have at the time.” Or, as I call it, the wing it method. I read the parenting books just so I would have an arsenal to select from or at the very least some things to ponder regarding different parenting topics.
I would say that we don’t follow Dr. Sears perfectly because some things we do makes a bit more sense to us (like using a stroller). But, I would say that the methods we use have strong leanings toward that style of parenting.
I used to nanny for a family that did the cry it out method and her kids turned out awesome. So, I don’t think a few tears are going to scar your child for life. I guess it’s just like I said before about doing what works for your family.
Oh, and I think the Dr. Sears Sleep book is one of his worst books. I actually stopped reading it part way through because it was (a) too repetitive of his other books, (b) didn’t have anything significant to say that I hadn’t already thought about, and (c) plodded along rather slowly. I liked The Baby Book the best because it covered many topics pretty thoroughly.
I agree with you too, Kevin. I love how you call them “All those books.” LOL

Oh, and one more thing. One of the main reasons we didn’t do the scheduling method is because, well, have any of you ever met Josh and me? We can’t even get ourselves on a schedule, let alone be organized enough to get someone else on one. Josh and I had a good laugh about what it would look like if we tried this method.

Kevin D. Hendricks on January 16, 2008 at 7:00 am said:

All those books that preach their own parenting philosophy portray every other parenting philosophy that’s not theirs as cruel and evil.
abby on January 16, 2008 at 11:48 am said:

I don’t really think you can read any other philosophy of parenting after you have already settled on your own style. I read babywise before Lexi was born and didn’t agree with most of it – all though we are/were big fans of letting her cry it out and sooth herself to sleep. I’m not saying everyone should do it, but it worked and it worked well for us. And I read one of Sears’ books after you talked about him – the Sleep Book – and I felt like he was saying anyone who didn’t do attachment parenting was basically doing their child a disservice or that Lexi would not be as happy, alert and smart as children who were raised by his methods.
I’ve had friends go to both ends of the spectrum – following Sears to the letter and following Babywise to the letter and the kids all seem to be happy functioning toddlers.
But that’s just my rant.
Steph on January 16, 2008 at 9:17 pm said:

Actually, as I was falling asleep after reading this entry I realized that there were some things I forgot to say & you two covered parts of them! I wanted to also add that Dr. Sears’ books are also pretty negative about other books (his repeated suggestion of “beware of baby trainers.”). I think, in the end, we all have the same parenting method which is “do the best you can with the knowledge you have at the time.” Or, as I call it, the wing it method. I read the parenting books just so I would have an arsenal to select from or at the very least some things to ponder regarding different parenting topics.
I would say that we don’t follow Dr. Sears perfectly because some things we do makes a bit more sense to us (like using a stroller). But, I would say that the methods we use have strong leanings toward that style of parenting.
I used to nanny for a family that did the cry it out method and her kids turned out awesome. So, I don’t think a few tears are going to scar your child for life. I guess it’s just like I said before about doing what works for your family.
Oh, and I think the Dr. Sears Sleep book is one of his worst books. I actually stopped reading it part way through because it was (a) too repetitive of his other books, (b) didn’t have anything significant to say that I hadn’t already thought about, and (c) plodded along rather slowly. I liked The Baby Book the best because it covered many topics pretty thoroughly.
I agree with you too, Kevin. I love how you call them “All those books.” LOL
Steph on January 16, 2008 at 9:20 pm said:

Oh, and one more thing. One of the main reasons we didn’t do the scheduling method is because, well, have any of you ever met Josh and me? We can’t even get ourselves on a schedule, let alone be organized enough to get someone else on one. Josh and I had a good laugh about what it would look like if we tried this method.