Caleb’s 2 1/2 Year Update

Caleb Painting in Art Space 13
Caleb is 2 1/2 (31 months old) and he has a new haircut. I was inspired by the worship leader at our church, Dan Holst, for this little cut. I think it makes Caleb look like a really hip bully.
Caleb Painting in Art Space 6
I thought I’d take a few moments to note what he’s doing these days.
Story 1
I’ve found that “stay in the yard” means very little to a toddler. So, I’ve had to make the rules: no going on the road, no going to the neighbor’s house, no going in the woods, no going in the water. These boundaries have effectively kept Caleb in our yard. Last week he was walking along the back edge of our property and, when I approached him, I saw that one of his legs was muddy up to the knee. I said, “Caleb, I said no going in the water.” He looked sweetly up at me and said, “Oh, I no go in the water Mama.” Then he pointed to his ‘offending’ leg and added, “Just this one.”
Story 2
Yesterday, Caleb prayed before we ate lunch. He said, “Dear Jesus, Thank you for this meal. Thank you for real. See? It rhymes. Amen.”
Story 3
Recently, we were at Key’s Cafe for lunch. Caleb’s food came and he said, “Hey, no french fries. Mama, you have any french fries?” I said that no, I didn’t have any. He turned to Grandma Whiting, “Grandma, do you have any french fries?” Grandma said that no, she didn’t have any. She suggested that he enjoy his hashed browns because they were kind of like french fries. Then, Caleb stands up in the booth and turns to address the entire restaurant, “Hey! Anybody have any french fries?” We explained to him that we couldn’t bother other people at the restaurant, which he seemed to think was pretty lame. Hilarious all the same.
Digging the Jazz
We recently took him to a jazz concert at Bethel University. I was pretty impressed that he was able to sit through the whole thing (2 hours!). He would clap along, try to snap, impersonate the strange foot-stamping of the director, and ask questions about the instruments. Aside from a shout of “Good job everybody!” and “Oh! Duke Elliston!” (Duke Ellington), he was actually very well behaved. He also struck up a conversation a few times with a blonde female vocalist. What can we say? Caleb digs his jazz.
Verbosity
Developmentally, I think Caleb is your average kid, except that he is exceptionally verbal. Sometimes I forget that I’m talking to a 2-year-old. Here’s an example of our morning conversation:
Caleb: Mama, what are we doing today?
Me: I don’t know, what do you think we should do?
Caleb: Hmmm… maybe go to the park. Or maybe we should just stay home and make some waffles and sausage meat. I would like to watch Mary Poppins too because the penguins are so funny, HA HA! Silly penguins.
Me: Waffles sound delicious! We should go outside too.
Caleb: Oh yes. I think… today is the day for the garbage truck.
Me: That’s right. The garbage truck is coming today. How did you know that?
Caleb: Oh, I see the cans outside. The truck goes up and down with the garbage cans and then we can bring ‘em back.
Me: Oh, will you help me bring the cans back to the house?
Caleb: Yes. And let’s bring Ella too. And my drum.
It continued long after that, but this at least gives an idea about the kind of conversations we have. He loves to pick up new words. Lately he has been using “cacophony” to describe when multiple dogs are barking, “amazing” when something cool happens, “delicious” to describe foods he likes, “curious” to describe himself when he wants to know something, and many others. He also tells me that “Ebeneezer Scrooge is a naughty boy!” If I use a new word he will ask me about it then try to use it. Here’s an example:
Me: Ha ha, the side of the garbage truck says, “It’s rubbish!” That’s too funny.
Caleb: What’s ‘rubbish’?
Me: It’s another word for garbage. Garbage is rubbish. Rubbish is garbage.
Later when we go in the house, he picks up a piece of fuzz on the floor and throws it in the garbage can saying, “Go in there you rubbish!”
The Books
We read a ton. We’re one of those families that have huge piles of books within reach from pretty much anywhere you might choose to sit. Caleb will sit and “read” books to Ella and Jack. Recently he “read” Jack the entirety of Good Night, Gorilla. Makes a mama so proud. Currently, the most-read books are as follows:

The Movies
It’s a short list, but these are the ones that matter to Caleb:

Other Things
We’ve started to try to play board games, but they are still pretty complicated for him. He enjoys the lame paired-down version of the rules we play. He loves his marble run and enjoys “engineering” new runs. He loves to count and even does simple math on his own (like adding and subtracting birds as they land in or leave our yard). He really loves music and continues with Musikgarten and has recently been asking to play the violin. His pitch is improving. We paint a lot. He mostly enjoys gluing things, so I gave him a container of things he can glue to paper and he’ll do that for awhile. He likes to help feed Jack his baby food. Caleb also enjoys helping around the house as usual. He loves to talk to people. He is getting better at controlling his emotions (meaning that he flings himself on the floor less often). We love seeing his personality develop!

My Boy

I was at Barnes and Noble with Caleb talking to the Nook sales associate. She looked at Caleb and said, “Oh my goodness! Look at your long, thick eyelashes! You are going to be so pretty when you grow up!”
Caleb furrowed his brow and said, “No! I AM A BOY!”
Hilarious.

Jack 4 Month Update

Jack went to the doctor today. He got an oral vaccine and two shots. Here are his stats:
Weight: 14 Pounds (29th percentile)
Length: 24.7″ (39th percentile)
Head: 16.25″ (24th percentile)
If you’d like, you can compare him to Caleb. Caleb was almost two pounds heavier and had almost the exact same length and head circumference at this age.
Honestly, I was reading all the stuff that Caleb did at this age and it seems that Jack is just content to hang out and look around. He has made very few efforts to roll or move in any direction, and has not been successful at either. During tummy time, he will lift his head for long periods of time and do some “baby push-ups.” He is able to grasp objects you put in front of him and bang them around. He especially loves rattles and percussion instruments that you shake (various kinds of bells). He will also hit the keys of the xylophone and hit the tambourine if you place it in front of him.
Jack is a squealer. He will smile and squeal at you. He loves the poems from the book Let’s Count It Out, Jesse Bear and a variety of other books that we read. He reacts to his favorite parts by squealing and squirming around, and it is usually the same places in books we read regularly. He does the same with his favorite songs.
It is difficult to get Jack to laugh. But when he does laugh it makes my whole day. It’s a good, hearty, baby belly laugh.
Jack is just content with pretty much everything. I’d say he’s your typical “good baby.” He falls asleep on his own. Doesn’t cry much and stops immediately once his need has been met. He still wakes twice a night to feed, but hardly cries when he wakes up and falls right back asleep after he eats. He loves to be carried in one of my many slings. I’d still say that he prefers me to others at this point, but will take pretty quickly to anyone who talks to him.
I have started feeding him rice cereal diluted with breast milk once a day. He loves eating and is very eager. I will start introducing a second daily meal of yellow vegetables in the coming days and weeks followed by green vegetables.
I just absolutely adore this little boy and am really enjoying being his mama!
(Add to this post –> I forgot to say that Jack is very tactile. He loves holding things in his hands and grasping them repeatedly. Caleb was very visual and liked things to look at over things to hold. Jack wants to hold things and will cry if there is nothing in his hands sometimes.)

Paragraphs that Start with Caleb

Caleb approached a girl at the library and said, “Hi, my name is Caleb, who are you?” Her mom said that her name was Micayla. Caleb said, “Oh, hi Micayla. I like books. I like the big horned owl. He goes hoo! hoo! Hoo-hoo-hoo hoo!” She looked at him strangely. Then he said, “Bye! See you later!” and went back to his book hunt.
Caleb approached a lady at church and said, “Oh, hi, Mrs. Lady. I see you have a baby. My has a baby too, his name is baby Jack. Your baby has 2 eyes, 1 nose, and 1 mouth, just like my baby!” They engaged in a short conversation afterwards that was quite adorable.
Caleb went with us to the International Culture Fair held at the local High School. One of the booths had Chinese arts and crafts, including a gifted teacher who was teaching kids how to drum. Caleb was the youngest kid there (with probably the worst rhythm), but he was so happy to be able to drum. He went back anytime there was a drum open and no line of kids. And then the teacher let him dance inside of the Chinese dragon. Caleb laid down on the floor part way through. I looked into the dragon and he said, “RAWR! The dragon is sleeping!” He had a blast.
Caleb went with me to visit Jenna in the hospital. We talked beforehand about some things you can do with someone in the hospital. I told him you can tell them that you love them, that you hope they feel better, and you can pray for them. When we went in Caleb said to Jenna, “Oh, hi Jenna! You have a tube in your nose. Looks like an owie. I see you have lots of friends with you…” as he gestured to her many stuffed animals. “Oh, yes, you have an audience of friends. The dog is a good friend. He is pink. I loves you. I hope you feel better from your owies and your sick. Now I will pray for you.” He clasped his hands and clenched his eyes shut (as though closing your eyes more tightly makes God more apt to answer your prayer). “Dear Jesus. Thank you for Jenna. Thank you for her audience of friends. Help her feel better. Help her to love you. We loves you Jesus. In Jesus name, amen!”
Caleb came with me to a wedding shower recently. After spending some time in the playroom, he came to me and said, “There are five girls playing. That is too many of the girls.”
Caleb is probably going to be a math nerd. A few weeks ago he was looking out of our window adding and subtracting birds. “There is one bird. Here comes another one! Now there are two birds. Here comes another one! Now there are three birds. One is flying back to the woods! Now there are two birds. Here come two birds! Now there are four birds….” And he was right every time.

Jack’s Hair

Jack's Hair
Josh is trying to get me to give Jack a haircut. I am resisting because Jack’s just a little peanut with wispy baby hair. He does have VERY short hair on the top, and these lovely “wings” on the sides. Some kind of baby mullet? Not sure. Anyway, in my trying to convince Josh that we should leave Jack’s hair until his “real” hair comes in, I told him we could style his hair like this in the mean time. Jack is totally rocking the mullet horns.

Getting Organized

Daily Organization 3
I have found that I am the kind of person who (usually) needs structure when performing my role as homemaker & stay-at-home mom. Sometimes I’m totally fine just rolling through the days. Sometimes I hit walls where I feel like I’m not accomplishing anything, my kids are whiney, and I’m doing my best to just stay in some kind of good mood. I have found that there are a couple of things that help me avoid these negative days. The first is to keep a minimum level of order in my home. If clean clothes are in my closet, clean dishes are in the cupboards, and stuff isn’t scattered around the floor, then I’m generally very chipper.
The second thing that helps me is establishing a routine with my kids. This article from Simple Mom, 20 Tips for Finding Routine with Kids, helped me to fine-tune the things I was already doing. Here are some points made in that article that clicked with me and my thoughts on them:
Think of your job as a job.
Just having this mindset helps me in so many ways. Even if I’m not planning on going out, I daily get up and showered, get dressed, and do my hair and make-up. I think of my husband as a boss/coworker and treat him accordingly (a.k.a. no calling your husband at work to whine and complain about everything). I set goals throughout the day such as having me, the kids, and the dog all fed and ready for the day by 10:00 a.m. along with the kitchen cleaned and laundry started. If I didn’t think of my job as a job, I probably wouldn’t care about things like this.
Clean as you go.
I need three things done regularly in my home that will send me down a depressive spiral if they are not done daily. First, I must have a clean kitchen. So, dishes are done after every meal. Second, I hate tripping on things, so stuff gets put away throughout the day (or in one giant sweep at night). Last, I will become mega-exasperated if it takes me more than 10 minutes to put an outfit together in the morning because laundry isn’t done or it’s sitting clean in a giant pile. So, I (try to) do laundry every day. Clean toilets, vacuumed floors, cobwebs… these things don’t effect my psyche so they can slide a bit here and there when we get busy.
Have a brain dump at least once during the day – transfer everything swimming around in your head on to paper.
I keep a running To-Do list on my computer and I keep lists of projects, dreams, & art in a sketchbook. If I have too many things in my head I start to get paranoid that I’ll forget them, so dumping them onto my lists helps me to prioritize. I want to spend my time on what really matters, not on what is making me stressed at the moment.
The key is to just plan something… Write a set-in-stone schedule, but keep it soft as clay.

  1. Consult Resources: I’m always looking for ideas of things to do with my kids. I’m usually laid back about when to do the activities, but do try to set up lots of things to do in my house so that they are ready to go when inspiration strikes. I use a list I put together of activities to do with toddlers (ThingsToDoList.pdf) that I will look at when I don’t know what to do or need ideas. I look for ideas from blogs, family & friends, the library, and books (the ones I have are listed as resources on the the Things To Do List).
  2. Weekly Plan: I sit down once every couple of weeks and plan out activities using my Weekly Function Plan (WeekFunctionPlan2.pdf). I write it in pencil & change what doesn’t work for us. Sometimes I work many weeks out and only fill in what I know I want to do or what is relevant. I try to use a variety of ideas from the resources I listed above. I try to coordinate it with my calendar (like planning a craft time to make a card for an upcoming cousin’s birthday).
  3. Daily Schedule: Every day I (usually) update my Daily Schedule (DailySchedule.pdf). I keep it inside of a plastic sheet cover and posted in my kitchen (see pic above). I use a white board marker to write on it what I’m doing each day. I will reference my Weekly Function Plan, but don’t always adhere to it. In fact, some days I’ll go through the whole day without doing any of the activities planned on the schedule!

You’ll also notice that I refer to time as “blocks” in my two schedules. What that means is essentially “whatever amount of time exists between x and y.” Such as lunch and naptime. Sometimes that’s two minutes, sometimes that’s two hours. Because I don’t want to force a crying toddler through making a marshmallow snowman, I’ll skip the project and put him down for a nap early. See, I’ve learned that mamahood is often about flexibility and letting things go. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have a plan to avoid the insanity. I know I need one.

Outward Signs of Life Trials (Miscarriage & Infertility)

I find it interesting that the more serious of spiritual and life battles are often fought internally or in such a way that they are not public. I have been specifically considering families that have dealt with miscarriage or infertility. The only outward sign of this life trial is that the couple has no children, but a stranger or someone not in-the-know might just infer that they chose not to have children.
Now, a couple (especially the woman) dealing with this constantly sees around them all of the families who have children. You see the kids running around, the other mothers and fathers speak of their children, etc. But no one knows of my lost babes by looking at me; they will only know if I choose to speak of them. It is so easy to look around and see all of God’s blessings (children) given to other families and then to think inwardly of your own missing children and feel alone in your struggle.
Now, wouldn’t it be interesting if women also bore an outward sign of children they have lost? Or children they couldn’t have?
I recognize that that would possibly cause more problems than it would solve. Like the adulteress forced to wear a capital “A” on her chest, the woman who could not bear living children would most likely struggle with much shame and guilt. On the other hand, it could give much hope, or at least perspective, to other women experiencing similar trials.
After I had my first miscarriage, women came out of the woodwork to share that they too have gone through that trial. I was astounded because had I never known anybody who dealt with it before my own loss. And after my second miscarriage, even more women came out of the woodwork. How would my life have been altered if (1) before I even had children I was aware that child loss happens so frequently and (2) I was able to easily identify other women who lived through this life trial while also enduring my own? Would easily being able to identify women in my own shared-experience-community allow for greater healing, life perspective, or at least understanding of a sovereign God?
I am in no way saying that women should bear any sign of lost children unless by personal choice. I’m not even sure if it’s something I would ever do (unless you consider this blog to be an outward symbol of my losses).
Baby 1 – Lost around June 6th, 2002
Baby 2 – Lost December 9th, 2002
Baby 3 – Lost February 4, 2004
Baby 4 – Lost July 12th, 2006
Baby 5 – Born September 5th, 2007 – Caleb Stephen
Baby 6 – Born December 9th, 2009 – Jack Edward
(It’s fun to have this blog because I can see how my willingness to yield to God’s decisions has changed from Baby 1 to now. From confusion to anger to disbelief to peace to worship and praise. I’ll share that journey at a later time.)
I have been trying to find ways to remember the lives of the four babes I have not known. I hope to someday mark their lives perhaps on my own gravestone (since they never got one of their own). I try to remember them on holidays and I always remember them on the dates that I lost them. I most often think of them when I dream of heaven. I wonder what it will be like to meet four children raised to perfection by God Himself. Blows my mind. Family reunion indeed.