Sometimes You Stop


Sometimes you stop for a moment and look at your life as if you were looking down on yourself from above. You stop and ask, “What the heck am I doing?” And you reassess to see if your life is going the way you’d like it to go. Then you rephrase the question (because you always ask the selfish question first) and wonder if you’re going the direction God would like you to go.
Sometimes when I stop I feel extreme pain. I think it’s the pain of feeling separated from God. Of knowing that this earth is not my home and that I really belong someplace else…someplace closer to God.
I think it’s more extreme now that I’ve been away from my earthly home for awhile. Not only do I yearn to be with God, but I yearn to be with my family and friends. And I feel as though nothing I can do will bring me to either place. And I feel no comfort.
So I ask God to protect me. And to put his arms around me. And to lift this cloud of lonliness from me. And to send me something that gives me joy. And something to lift the pain. And maybe, if He’s willing, to let me go home.