Looking for Answers
I guess I’m to the point where I’m pretty sick of the whole miscarriage thing. Like I said before, it’s getting all too familiar to go through with this. So, I went to my favorite place, Barnes & Noble, and picked up a couple of books this evening. One is Preventing Miscarriage: The Good News. The other is Empty Arms: Hope and Support for Those Who Have Suffered a Miscarriage…. Maybe I can find some answers. Maybe it will still be a blur as to why I’ve had three.
Josh figured out today, based on miscarriage statistics, that the chances of me having 3 miscarriages in a row that just happen to be flukes is one out of 216. I’m guessing that there is probably some reason why it’s happening. I read some research that says that most repeat miscarriages are usually a problem with the female. That knowledge is both humbling and scary.
I realized something very important today. Someone said to me, “That is so sad that the cry of your heart isn’t being answered.” I agreed with them at the time. Today I realized that the cry of my heart is not to have a child. I think that would be really a neat experience, but it’s not the cry of my heart. The cry of my heart is to know God and to worship Him forever. That is my deepest desire. Whether or not I have a child has no bearing on that cry.
MATTHEW 6:33 “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Amen to that.