Due Date
Actually, I had a really great day. On the outside. I had a good time at church, got to have lunch with Josh and a good buddy, watched a cool movie, worked on my mosaic, went for a good jog…all around a good day. It’s just the date. Last time I was pregnant, I remember that September 12th was supposed to be my due date. I tried to erase it out of my calendar, but I can still see it when I flip the pages…that and I don’t think a woman really forgets the due date of her child.
So, it’s an interesting thing. It’s just this kind of silent cloud that follows me around. I know it’s there and try not to pay it too much mind. Or, maybe it’s more like a balloon that I carry around; a balloon I need to let go of. Whatever it is (and whatever the appropriate metaphor is), it’s there. And I feel it deep inside of me. And it aches a little.
I get frustrated because I don’t think it’s healthy for me to dwell on it. I can (and have) cried over it and have really grieved. There just comes a certain point where you have to move on with your life and not allow yourself to be overcome by the painful thoughts.
But, like I said before, it’s more like this silent thing that just shows up every now and then…especially this past week. I think I’ll feel better next week, after this date has passed. Time doesn’t necessarily heal wounds, but it sure can help.