JACK: “When I’m big, I’m going to buy a house, paint it black, fill it with wolves, & rent a moon. I will be the Scary House Guy.” #ambition

ME: When you’re taller then me, you’ll help care for me and keep me safe, right?
CALEB: What!? I’ll have my own wife. You can call the army.

CALEB: “Tell me if this storyline is plausible. Would a mom name her newborn Dirt Sneeze? …No? *whispers* Dirt Sneeze is allergic to dirt.”

Countdown to Daylight Savings! Spring ahead on Sunday! Woo! Chant with me: Sun-light! Sun-light! Sun-light! #exclamationpoints #spring #woo