CALEB: “If parents want their kids to be extra cool, I suggest adding the word ‘Mister’ to the front of their existing names. BAM!”

Write 500 words of polished copy: 20 minutes. Choose an appropriate font showing I’m design-savvy but not design-snobby: 3 hours.

Far too much monologuing occurs in my house. I’d go on about it, but then I’d just be encouraging it further.

Next time someone says, “Wow. Your hands sure are full,” I’ll reply with a similar fact such as, “Yes, and your hair sure is chin length.”

Kids wrestling.
ME: Boys, be gentle, girls don’t like to play so rough.
*Louritta jumps up and lands, sitting, on Jack’s head.*
ME: Usually.

CALEB: If people are sick I, Dr. Caleb, will give them a shot from the Elmo medical kit. If they feel better, I’ll know they were faking it.

WANTED: Piano teacher for kids who can convincingly say “Knock it off,” “You do that again and I’m telling your mother,” and “Take a lap.”

Sometimes, I’m just thankful that unwashed laundry can’t scream.

In the middle of Nowheresville, MN. I have a feeling this town of a leather store, used tire store, & unlabeled buildings has no Starbucks.

Any of my developer friends need an app tester? I’m pretty sure my kid can find a way to permanently freeze your app in < 5 minutes.