Baby Messengers that Deserve to be Kicked


For some strange reason, during the past week I’ve had several “messengers” sent on behalf of others to ask me if Josh and I were planning on having a baby any time soon. Strange that it’s been all of a sudden. Maybe it’s because we’re nearing the one year anniversary of our second miscarriage.
Well, the official answer is no. Not trying. So, stop asking. It’s becoming a bit painful for me to have to rediscuss this issue with people. Basically, we’re just paying debts, living in California, and doing other things. Things like working too much and learning the cello. Things that seem very empty at times…but I guess these are the things I’m supposed to be doing right now for some reason. Not sure why. Just doing them.
When will we have children then? Not sure. Kind of trying to not care so much about the subject and pretend that I’m only fifteen years old and don’t see childrearing as a topic for several years down the road. Like I said before, I haven’t worked quite enough yet and I still suck at playing the cello. So, let’s do one thing at a time.
And stop asking. And kick people who do ask. I’d kind of rather not speak on the subject. Especially to stupid people who don’t know me or my situation well enough to really need to ask. And, if you really do need to ask for some reason, then talk to Josh. He’s a little more emotionally solid on the topic. And, he can censor things that might be too painful for me.
If you want to talk to me about something…maybe ask me how the cello is going or what kind of dog I want to get next or how work is going or what the weather is like…something along those lines. That I can handle. Babies…not so much.