Invigorating Lessons


I am so impressed with the way my students are drawing right now. It is so invigorating to see them drawing okay at the beginning of the year, then show them a few short drawing lessons, and *bam!* they’re creating awesome stuff! I’ll post a link to some pics once the kiddos turn them in on Wednesday. I think I am really honing in on what lessons kids really need to learn to improve their drawing. There are so many lessons that I could go over…which would take forever. But, I’m really getting down to the ones that matter and am watching them confidently take off drawing. It’s so amazing. I love teaching.
I spoke with Josh’s folks yesterday and they thought I might still be having some grief issues from our miscarriage last year. I don’t think I realized then what an impact it would have on me. I tried to shake it off and move on. I thought I was doing great when a couple of weeks ago I successfully held my coworkers newborn for awhile. I felt totally fine. I remember thinking, “Hey, I just held a baby and I did totally AWESOME!!!”
Just yesterday a couple came to our Sunday School class and showed everybody their newborn and I just lost it. I sidetracked it to the nearest door and sat outside beating myself up for being so emotionally week. I don’t believe anyone noticed me.
I think the most frustrating thing is that I don’t know when it’s going to hit me and when it’s not. And I don’t want to have to explain to people that they shouldn’t hide their beautiful babies from me for fear of making me emotional. I have always loved children and always wanted to play with them…but now I have this kind of curse where peole are really timid around me (for obvious reasons).
I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I want to be able to laugh with new mothers about things that are happening and hold their babies and stuff. I don’t want the pregnant ladies at work to stop talking about their pregnancies when I sit near them. I don’t want to be so sensitive about these issues.
Anyway…that was my vent for now. I think I feel better coming out about these kinds of feelings. It feels like medicine to my soul.