Parents Just Don’t Understand


One of my students is pretty roughed up. His parents just got a divorce recently and he’s dealing with it the best way he knows how. He seemed pretty down today, which makes me worry a bit. He spent his Thanksgiving helping his mom pack her stuff to move out of state. He “gets” to see her over Christmas, then again in the summer. So, he’s staying with his dad until then. He says that they would argue with each other like they were 10 year olds and slam doors, whine, feel sorry for themselves. I wonder how they would feel if they knew their 14 year old son viewed them this way. He’s glad there is no screaming anymore…but that life seems too quiet now.
I’m sorry if I sound like Dr. Laura. I just wouldn’t leave my kid to live in a different state. No way. Where do parents learn that it is “their life” and that they need to “pursue their own dreams”? Fine, you can do that if you’re single (although I would argue that your life is not your own and that you are to serve God). But, not when you bring a spouse into the picture. When you take marriage vows with another person, you are essentially saying that you will view that person as being better than yourself. That means that you put them & their interests before yours. And they are vowing to do the same for you. In a perfect marriage, each will be serving the other (therefore they are both blessed).
PHILIPPIANS   2:3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.
That is why a parent shouldn’t move to a different freaking state, essentially abandoning their child. I don’t care what stupid reason you have. When you have children, you serve their needs. When you have a spouse, you serve their needs. You are not the center of the universe. And, if you don’t have what it takes to serve others, then stay single. And please don’t bring kids into the picture.
My student asked if he could go to the counselor to request therapy for himself through the school. He knows that this situation is messing him up. It absolutely breaks my heart to hear stuff like this.