The Possibility in Nothing

05/18/2004

I was really looking forward to last weekend. I mean, really REALLY looking forward to it. There seemed like so much possibility in it…like an open book, a new day, a fresh start. See, when you’re bogged down in the middle of a week and you have to kick a kid out of your class, develop regular migranes during last period, and have to explain for the nine-millionth time that late work is not accepted…well, you really look forward to the great possiblity in the weekend. What would I do with all that time? Read? Go for a walk? Paint a really great painting? Work on my website? Save the world?
No. This weekend held possibillities much greater than any of those tasks (at least in my mind…except for maybe saving the world, but I’ll do that another weekend). What was the most appealing, the most satisfying thought, was the possiblity of doing nothing. Yup, that’s right. Nothing. When was the last time I did nothing? I dunno…don’t think that far back. But last weekend, there was a whole lot of nothing going on.
This is what I did last weekend: Went to a friend’s volleyball game (1 hour), did laundry & picked up (maybe 2 hours), watched Gilmore Girls and played Harvest Moon (all the other time…maybe like 25 hours). It was SO COOL!!!
I realized something important. It actually takes some pretty hard work to do nothing. I had to turn down a bunch of people to hang out. I had to insist that I didn’t care if those icky syrup-covered dishes were still in the sink (too bad Neal wasn’t around to clean them for me). I had to avoid my blog and the blogs of other people because that could mean several hours of comment posting! I had to ignore the books on the top shelf (also known as the “waiting to be read” or “currently being read” shelf). I had to ignore the fact that my rose bush is growing out of control. I had to leave the ready-to-be graded papers at school. Whew! Well, all that doing nothing kind of wore me out.
But it was so satisfying. I think having a weekend of doing practically nothing is similar to eating a huge banana split by yourself. A little sickening…but so so sweet.