Condiment Neglect or I Hate CostCo


Recently, there has been an unidentified odor in my refrigerator. I couldn’t figure it out. I went through all of the shelves and removed the tupperware containers of “mystery meatloaf” and the like. But, it still stunk. So, I replaced the baking soda and wiped down all of the shelves. But, it was still stinky. I couldn’t figure out the mystery and was about to give up, when I noticed something. I admit it, I am guilty of Gross Condiment Neglect.
About two years ago, Josh and I thought we’d get a CostCo (like Sam’s Club) membership to save money. Well, I’m not sure that we saved any money, but it sure felt like we saved lots! See, you can get insane amounts of pretty much anything there for like $6.00. So, we got the super-size of everything. After today, I have decided that the CostCo membership will not be renewed.
Problem is, there is no way that two people can eat the CostCo size of things. So, it just hangs out in the fridge. Here is my list of seriously expired items: buttermilk ranch dressing, Miracle Whip, two bottles of ketchup and one of mustard, a nasty thing of concord grape jelly, some tempura dipping sauce, sour cream (oh man…ick), some Trader Joe’s beef marinade, honey-mustard dip, ranch dip (this one wins the nasty-yuck prize), lemon juice, kosher pickles that ain’t so kosher anymore, and some lime juice with blue floaty things in it.
I know, many of you are thinking, “What? But Steph, you’re insanely efficient. You’d never let anything like this happen.” I too thought the same thing, then I realized that the mismanagement of my condiments is merely a symbol of a much deeper issue. My last year has been so busy that I’ve turned a blind eye to the creatures in my refridgerator’s produce drawer…literally. But tonight, I was forced to slow down because the Lord has blessed/cursed me with some kind of stomach flu thingy and I got bored sitting on the couch and decided to investigate the fridge problem once again. Sometimes God has to trip us up a bit to get us to look at life.
Seriously, though, go look in your refridgerator, it’s a great symbol of how your life is going. What kind of food is in there? How long has it been there? How is it organized? Is it kosher?
After the great clean out, mine is sparkling clean and contains about eight items. Okay, so it’s a little minimalist, but at least I know I can eat that stuff before it goes bad. That’s gotta be worth something.