My Family is Like Shifting Sand…


It’s changed by every wave.
It’s only during the holidays that I see how much my family has changed, no, morphed over the years. The family I knew as a child has been reduced, expanded, and scandalized. As a kid, my family consisted of my aunts & uncles, cousins, grandparents, and, of course, my parents & brothers. But, after a bit of adultery here, some unbearable addictions or abuses there, marriage, divorce, and addition of new children, it seems that the picture of my family today wouldn’t even be recognized as being the same family I had as a kid.
I remember when I found out my uncle was getting a divorce. I was ten or so, and was so mad at my aunt for not coming to say goodbye to me. I remember that I had confessed to her (by whispering in her ear, so others would not hear) that she was my favorite aunt. Then, her & my uncle were divorced and I never saw her again. As an adult, I recognize that the whole thing was messy and that she was not obligated to say anything to her niece, but I do remember how it tore me apart at the time. That was the first change I ever saw in my family.
From then on there have been several divorces (and many name changes for some of the women…I can’t even keep track anymore) and remarriages. Several of which include step kids and whatnot joining in to the family. They are accepted and loved, but then the next year comes around and they don’t come to Christmas anymore because of another divorce.
I told my dad today that I was amazed at how much our family had changed. I said that I never expected it to be such an evolving, constantly changing thing. I mean, as a kid, I thought that family was a rock, it was solid. It would change, sure, due to marriage & death & new children being born. But, that was it…and it’s core would remain stable throughout time. My parents have been stable, and the only changes to my immediate family have been mine & my brother’s spouses.
I guess it has changed my image of family. I have an ideal in my mind about what I’d like it to be, how stable I want it to be, and how Disney I’d like it to feel each Christmas. But, that doesn’t seem to happen anymore and I’m better off just accepting the truth. Families are like shifting sand. They change with every wave.