How’s My Driving?
I love commercial vehicles that have those signs on the back that say “How’s My Driving? 1-800-PLEASE-DONT-COMPLAIN.” Or something like that…
I was driving behind one today. It was a Schwann’s Truck. It was the first time in my life that I was REALLY REALLY tempted to actually call that number. See, unlike Andy’s rant about crazy drivers, my Schwan’s trucker was actually TOO SAFE of a driver. Oh man.
Seriously, I went just two short miles down McClellan Road and it took me almost twenty minutes. He drove like 5 miles an hour (seriously) the whole way. I had to keep shifting my car down into first gear in order to keep up with him. And, there were school zones and stuff and he would STOP at every stopwalk even though there were NO CHILDREN IN SITE! Sheesh!
I wonder what the call to the How’s My Driving? Customer Service Rep would look like.
HMD?CSR: I’m sorry ma’m… did you say he was driving TOO SAFE?
ME: YES! Who drives like that? It’s a danger to society!!!
HMD?CSR: How is that a danger to society, driving too safe, that is?
ME: BECAUSE I WANT TO KILL HIM!!!
I figure it would go something like that anyway…