My Failures as a Parent


My failures as a parent currently include the following:
1. Animal Sounds
We have an animal book that is really fantastic. I point to the pictures and say, “This is a lion, he says ROAR!” Caleb loves it. We read this book more than any other book and Caleb looks at it by himself a lot, turning the pages back and forth, banging on it, and babbling on about it. Anyway, there I so many animals that I have no sound for. Hippo? Giraffe? Koala? Meerkat? Is there some kind of animal sound parental tutorial I can take?
2. Girly Fingernails
I hate cutting baby fingernails. They grow way too fast and are sharp little things, so you have to keep on top of it. But, I’m bad at it. They get long and I usually don’t cut them until I notice scratches on my skin from him squeezing my arm flab too hard. I have to wait until he’s in a deep sleep, then trim them very quickly and carefully lest I wake him. There have been so many times I put him down to sleep thinking, “I have to cut his nails this time.” And then I forget. And they grow longer. And I get my arm flab pinched some more.
3. Booklight Attachment
Around this age, babies will often develop an attachment to a favorite toy or blanket. My child is attached to my bright pink booklight. I’ve kept it at my bedside ever since he was born so that I could read in the dark rooms where he nursed and fell asleep. He knows where I keep it and will get it and carry it around the house. He loves the bendy neck on it, the clip is a source of endless joy, and he also knows how to hit the button to turn it on, dim it, and then turn it off. My kid is weird. I’ve been trying to get him to attach to Grover, but so far it’s not working. I could hide my booklight and make him go cold turkey, but then I wouldn’t be able to read in the dark anymore.