2 Year Old in Public


Scene 1 – At Menards!
Caleb has quite the vocabulary and has to vocalize everything he’s thinking pretty much all day long. Today we were at Menards and it went like this:
Caleb: Mama, where all the pretty ladies go?
Me: What???
Caleb: Hmmmmm… [points to a man] Is that a pretty lady??? …No.
Me: [thinking my kid is so clever]
Caleb: [points to a woman] Is that a pretty lady??? [woman ignores us] …NO! Hmmm… [points to another woman] Is that a pretty lady??? [she looks at us] …NO! Hmmm… where all the pretty lady go? Hmmm…
Me: [backs away from the scene of the crime]
Scene 2 – No Poot.
A couple weeks ago I took Caleb with me to the ladies restroom at a busy restaurant. (Please note, he pronounces “poop” as “poot.”) While we were in the stall, Caleb loudly gave a play-by-play to everyone in the room.
Caleb: Mama, you go potty! Yay, mama! You did it! Yay! Mama, did you go poot? Oh no! Mama, how come no poot? You can do it! You can do it! Go again Mama, go poot! Yay! You can do it!
Me: [whispering] No, Caleb, I don’t have to go poop right now.
Caleb: Oh no! No poot? Oh no, Mama. You can do it! Go again, go more, you can do it!
Me: No, Caleb, I’m all done going potty, let’s go wash our hands.
Caleb: But no poot! Washa da hands with no poot? Oh no, Mama!
When we came out of the stall there were several women laughing. All of them were looking at us, so I said, “In case any of you were wondering, I did not go poop just now.” They burst out laughing. One of them thanked me for making her day. Another woman spoke for awhile about, “Oh, I remember those days! Just priceless!”
Yay, motherhood.