Steph Speaks Frankly About Diarrhea


No, I’m not going to post a picture with this entry. The rebellious, shocking side of me wanted to. But the tactful, tasteful side of me censored that side. I know, you can thank me when you see me next.
So, today I was at the grocery store. I finally had all of my food and was standing in line waiting to check out. Then, the pains started. I was in decision mode — do I see if I can get through the line and get home? Do I see if I can get through the line and then search for a bathroom? I shifted my weight to the other foot, then back again, counting the forty-something items the woman in front of me had. Then, the gurgling started.
I left the line in search of the restroom. Finally, I found one in the back corner of the store and parked my cart next to it. The door was locked because someone was in there. I jiggled the handle excitedly, hoping that whoever was in there wasn’t going through what I was about to. Luckily, that woman left quickly and I made my way in. I was miserable.
But that’s not the worst part. When I finally got out after some time — feeling much better by the way — my cart was gone! Apparently I’d been in there for too long and some store workers thought the cart was abandoned. I paused and muttered some choice words to myself, then sighed and started my grocery shopping all over again. Good times. Yeah… good times.