I am an artist & teacher with a ❤ for visual expression, educational methodology, homesteading, & Jesus. My geek-love is The Joshua and we have three peanut-butters: Caleb, Jack, & Louritta.

Meat-izza is Gross

07/28/2003

Well, I know all of you were drooling and waiting to see if my meat-izza recipe was as delicious as it sounded. Unfortunately, it was gross. I couldn’t finish mine because it tasted strongly of gross stuff. I think it was the 1/2 cup of chicken boullion that did it in. I’ve never heard of that much boullion going in anything. But, the recipe has potentional so I may try it again with my own personal tweaks.
Sometimes I feel like being in my twenties is a really awkward phase of life. Maybe even more awkward at times than middle school. It’s very strange to adapt to a life away from your parents and away from school after 18 years of living that way. It seems pointless to be focusing so much on careers. I mean, I know that having a stable job and making money is important, but it seems that everything revolves around that. I’ve had two years of that and it’s already pretty mundane. Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoy my job. I think that I have the best job in the world (it’s cool that I actually get paid to do it). But, I really feel that there’s more to life than that. Just not right now. I guess that’s why I started playing the cello. Need a little something to mix up the day-to-day. I guess that’s also why I tried making meat-izza. Needed a little something to make me vomit. Just kidding. 🙂
I think I’ve also had a difficult time transitioning from Christian Land (Bethel) to the real world. It’s so different. I had Bible studies, chapel, teachers that prayed and spoke of Christ, really strong Christian friends…all that stuff. I haven’t found much of that out here. Our church is great, but it’s been odd to feel like I fit in. I’ve had a hard time finding Christian friends that are close. I’m still pursuing this path…it’s just been extremely awkward and frustrating at times.
I’m not trying to sound depressing because I’m not depressed. I’m just expressing how awkward life feels at times. Transitions between life stages are hard. I’m really blessed to have such an awesome husband and families to back me up. I can’t imagine how difficult life would be without that.
So…I’ve babbled enough. Until next time, my friends….

Life in the Closet

07/27/2003

Well, I worked really hard on Friday to clean our house and do laundry. I mopped the floors, cleaned the windows, scrubbed sinks…I even washed the handwash only clothes. I thought, “Now I can have a relaxing weekend doing whatever I want.” Because there was nothing (technically) left to do. Then, a horrible thing happened. I came home Friday night and went into my closet to get a shirt. That’s when I realized that the entire closet bar had ripped off of the wall.
The 5 photo boxes of pictures that I worked so hard to sort chronologically are now heaped in mixed piles. The laundry that I did and would like to put away…I can’t. The entire bar is ripped off the wall. I don’t even want to deal with it. But, I suppose that a trip to Home Depot is in my near future. And a box of hollow wall anchors. *Sigh*
Josh made a comment about me “having too many clothes” (as I quietly kissed back-to-school shopping goodbye).
It was funny to see the cat approach the closet, with her hair standing up, and slowly look into the closet with a crazed look that I doubt I could capture in text. She was ready for a monster to jump out and tear her head off, yet so curious as to the noise and the sudden disaster that she had to inquire. At least I got a laugh out of it.
I’m trying a new recipe today for something called “Meat-izza.” It’s like pizza, except with a meat/nut mixture replacing the crust. I’m worried, but it smells good. So, I guess we’ll see. I think Josh will like it because it has three different kinds of cheese on it.
If anyone wants to come over and fix my closet for me, give me a call. 🙂

Feelin’ Low

07/24/2003

I don’t know what it is…maybe it’s just living day to day and the monotony of it all…but I just get down sometimes. Today I’ve just been emotionally on edge. There’s no reason I can think of for it. I have a happy life, happy home, good job, great husband, wonderful family, super pets, and lots of opportunity. Just this cloud…this feeling of doom and sadness. I can’t explain it. It just comes sometimes.
I think it might relate back to when I was playing The Sims obsessively. I’d watch the little computer people interact and walk around. They’d complain when they were hungry, cry when they needed more social activity, shout when they needed entertainment…. It’s a great game, my favorite of all time. But it started to make my life seem really pointless. I’d go to Josh and say, “My social is low, will you spend time with me?” Or, “My room is going down, can we pick up???” And when he would respond with something that would heighten those scales, I’d look at him and say, “Plus! Plus!” (The Sims get little plus signs next to them when their scales go up). But, eventually, it seemed that my life wasn’t any more important than that of The Sims. So, I quit playing (until the Unleashed expansion pack came out…but that’s a whole different story….)
I’m not trying to bring anyone down. For those of you who know me, I’m usually a very peppy, talkative person in a really good mood. The world’s weight just presses on you sometimes. I’m sure you all know what I mean. That, and I got a crappy parking space today. I can already see myself in the morning, taking the great hike to my car. On a brighter note, I did find a decent tasting chocolate bar that only contains 2 grams of net carbs. That’s worth something, right? The world’s not all doom and gloom. Not when those babies are around.
Oh, and I had my second cello lesson yesterday. My arms hurt and my fingers are getting deformed. It’s really a complicated instrument. My instructor is very picky (which is a good thing) and is always telling me, “Don’t bend those fingers, keep your elbow down, posture, don’t force the bow, use the natural weight from your relaxed shoulder….” He might as well be telling me to pat my head, rub my tummy, sing the Star Spangled Banner, write my complete family tree, give myself a pedicure, and chew gum…all at the same time. It’s really complex. I start getting one thing right…then another thing goes bad. It’s a lot of fun though. It’s neat to see myself struggle through these things. It will give me a good perspective for when I start teaching again. Sometimes these things that look so simple, or that seem so simple to people who are really good…they really are complex artforms. What a priviledge to try, though.
Here’s to Friday…and a nice weekend of writing code with Josh. Good times.

Bat Boy Learns the Cello!

07/23/2003

Josh took me to see the musical Bat Boy yesterday at Lucie Stern Theater in Palo Alto. I laughed my head off. Part of it was sheer delight for actually seeing some theater again (the last show I saw was in February). The characters were spectacularly played, especially the lead of Bat Boy, the mother, and Shelly. I was very impressed with their talent and commitment to their characters.
As for the musical itself…it’s about this bat boy that is found in the woods, taken in by a family, and taught how to be a member of society. (He actually develops a very impressive British accent – thanks to the BBC language tapes). The town people, however, are not so accepting of the bat boy and want him dead. And so the plot unfolds. (And so Stephanie thanks Josh for bringing her out for a super fun night.)
I did have issues with two particular short scenes…mainly because they involved sexual content which was a bit much for me. I’d kind of look away, then glance up to see if it was over, then realize that it had only gotten worse. It’s not graphic by any means. (In fact, it uses puppets). But it was basically a puppet-humping scene. Yeah…disturbing.
Besides that scene…there was so much humor and some seriousness throughout. In terms of it’s ability to engage me and make me smile, I’d say it’s probably one of the best shows I’ve seen in a long time. Makes me want to audition for another show. We’ll see…
On another note…I have my second cello lesson today and I must say that my skills have improved greatly over the last week. I can now bow the strings without screeching (most of the time) and can (more or less) play a successful double scale. I have also been able to play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star (just for fun). I had a string break once and almost whip Josh in the face (which would have been bad) and I’ve learned a lot about it. I’m having fun. My hands are permanently cramped from practicing. But I’m having fun with it.
Josh and I have decided to go back on Atkins. This is my third day on it and I honestly feel great. We’ve been able to find some Atkins foods that are really good (Josh found a cornbread he adores). And, I love eating meats…so it works out well. The only thing that stinks about this is that you feel like a moron at restaurants. You have to tell the waiter, “Hi…we don’t eat any sugar or processed grains found in things like bread, rice, and pasta. Please make sure we don’t get any of those things in our meal today.” Then you set idly by, at their mercy, not knowing if they hate you and are going to toss a bunch of sugar in your salad. Alex (the girl I nanny for) and I have been swimming a lot, which is a really great workout because I essentially drag her around the pool for an hour. We have tons of fun.
Well…that’s an update. Bye!

Omigosh! The Hours!

07/22/2003

I just started reading The Hours by Michael Cunningham.
So, anyway, I started reading The Hourswith zero knowledge of the plot or movie…all I know of it is that it relates to Mrs. Dalloway, which I just read. When I started reading the part about Clarissa Dalloway, I found that she is not only from a different period than the original book (she’s a modern-day character), but she is also gay. And her husband is gay and dying of aids. Needless to say, I had difficulty switching my mind from the Clarissa of Dalloway to the Clarissa of The Hours.
Why did Cunningham choose to make such a dramatic leap in her character? Hopefully it will become clearer as I read on.
Click below for more insights regarding what I’ve read:

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I am Saddened by America Today

07/21/2003

Today, I looked at my favorite website (as I do every day). There, I saw something that was too horrific to behold. In the movie boxoffice, Pirates of the Caribbean moved down to number two and Bad Boys II moved up to number one.
I feel saddened to live in a society where something like Bad Boys II can actually gross anything. Okay, so Will Smith is kind of cute. That’s all I’ll give the flick (I’m not a Martin Lawrence fan). The reviewers’ consensus on the flick (notice that I don’t give it the title “film” which usually involves artistic merit) was “Two and a half hours of explosions and witless banter.” I guess it’s not so much that people pay money to see this movie as the fact that people are actually entertained by this. *sigh* This is definitely a lowest common denominator flick.
Granted…I haven’t actually seen the movie. But, some things in life are avoided simply because you know they are crap for crap even before you start. I mean, the equation of Will Smith, Martin Lawrence, “witless banter,” and car explosions doesn’t really do it for me. I’m sure the script is really great.
I’ve also noticed something interesting. Most of the best movies (or at least the really good ones) originally come from novels. 2001: A Space Odyssey, High Fidelity, Legally Blonde, The Hours, A River Runs Through It….these all stemmed from well written novels. As Josh says, Hollywood knows how to present a movie, but they don’t know how to write one. For example, I think that Legally Blonde was a terribly entertaining movie…I loved it. It came from the book Legally Blonde by Amanda Brown. Nice movie. Then, the bastards in Hollywood decided that they could gross more profit off of this lovely idea by creating a sequel…Legally Blonde II, Red, White, and Blonde. It had one of the crappiest scripts I’ve seen in a long time. (I knew it would be a bad movie going in, but I can’t resist Reese Witherspoon).
I think A River Runs Through It is both an excellent movie and a superiorly written novel. They are both thoughtfully done. Thank you, Hollywood, for not making a poorly written sequel following this first movie that was done correctly.
Does anyone else know of other good/bad novel to movie conversions?

Mrs. Dalloway Discussion

07/19/2003

“…for what can one know even of the people one lives with every day? she asked. Are we not all prisoners? She had read a wonderful play about a man who scratched on the wall of his cell, and she had felt that was true of life–one scratched on the wall.”
-from Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf, Harcourt Inc. 1925
This blog is intended to start a discussion of the book Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf. Click on the “Continue Reading…” link below to view some questions for discussion. If you’ve read the book, feel free to join in and share your thoughts.
Overall, I think this was an excellent book and, if you like literature and haven’t read it yet, you should. It looks like a quick read, but because this book is written with a different approach than most other books, it takes a bit more from the reader to get through it…but it’s totally worth it.
The next discussion book will be The Hours by Michael Cunningham. If you want to get in on this book discussion, you just need to get your copy and read it! I’m guessing we’ll start discussing it around August 9th, 2003.
Click below to join!

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Stupid Code – A Call for Help

07/17/2003

HELP! Okay, I realize that my blog has issues with overlapping my web banner on some browsers. My problem is this — I have no idea how to fix it. I’ve been able to shift the contents up and down on the page…but that just messes with it when you adjust the window. So, post me a note to tell me what platform you are using, what browser, and what happens to the page when you load it, when you refresh it, and when you resize the window.
Also, if you have any idea how to fix it…PLEASE TELL ME!!!
(Please keep in mind that I just started learning HTML three weeks ago. I think I’m doing okay. This one’s a bit out of my league though…so I call upon the geeks of the world to assist me. I guess you could say that I’m virtually on the side of the road with a broken down car looking helpless.)

Mrs. Dalloway, You Complete Me

07/17/2003

I’m currently reading Mrs. Dalloway, by Virginia Woolf. It’s quite the intriguing book…it’s written unlike anything I’ve read before. It speaks through the memory and thoughts of individuals, and from this the story is woven. The book brings the reader through a single day…but when you’re done reading it you’ve actually gone through many years. Actually, I’m not done reading it yet. I’m on page 152, which is so close to being done that I should just lock myself in a closet somewhere and finish it. My friend Neal is reading it with me (actually, he’s been done for quite awhile) and is waiting to discuss it. Sigh. Maybe this weekend.
Anyhoo, that wasn’t the point I was driving at. Here is an exerpt from the book (pub. 1953, Harcourt Inc., San Diego):
“Clarissa had a theory in those days…. It was to explain the feeling they had of dissatisfaction; not knowing people; not being known. For how could they know each other? …It was unsatisfactory, they agreed, how little one knew people. ….to know her, or any one, one must seek out the people who completed them; even the places” (p. 152-153).
(The “seek out people who completed them” line made me think of Dr. Evil. “Mini Me, you complete me.” Hee hee. Oh, how modern movies can ruin timeless novels.)

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Patronizing the Liberal Front

07/15/2003

There are three movies that I want to see right now. Unfortunately, none of them are in regular movie theaters. No, the ones I want to see are foreign films & documentaries that are featured at The Towne, a small “artsy” theater in San Jose. Problems is, as Josh put it, the lobby is filled with communist propaganda. Things about kids giving their viewpoint about war, telling us we should listen to them (no offense, I respect the thoughts of children, I just don’t utilize them when we’re talking about war). Articles telling of a woman who was a “hero” and gave her life for such a just cause – by standing in front of homes about to be bulldozed in some third world country. She got bulldozed along with the house. The lobby has neatly stacked boxes that say “take one” on the sides. Inside you can find lots of impeach Bush paraphernalia (including a special club you can join) and pamphlets explaining why Christians are the downfall of society and why we just need to give peace and love a chance.

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