I am an artist & teacher with a ❤ for visual expression, educational methodology, homesteading, & Jesus. My geek-love is The Joshua and we have three peanut-butters: Caleb, Jack, & Louritta.

My Body Has Betray Me

06/05/2006

So, if you’ve played Battlefield Vietnam, then you totally know what I’m talking about. While you’re running around in destroyed buildings and swampy areas, there are these annoying speakers that chant over and over and over in a vietnamese accent, “American soldier, you government has betray you…” It was supposedly a tactic to play mind games with the American soldiers, make them go crazy and go against their government. Well, I’ve been hearing that same voice in my head since Thursday night, except it’s saying a slightly different tune, “Stephanie, your body has betray you…”
And that’s because it has. So far today I’ve been able to keep down less than a cup of white rice. Everything else, including water, has been against me. Yesterday was better, I was able to eat some spaghetti noodles and a piece of toast. Saturday I was able to eat two tacos. And Friday… well, Friday nothing would agree with me.
I’m pretty sure it’s food poisoning from a BBQ I went to Thursday night. Whatever it is, it is causing my body to revolt and I hate it for that. My current problem is that ALL food seems disgusting to me now. It’s like, I have to prep myself like, “Okay, Steph, you really should eat something today.” But then my body shudders because everything has been a risk this weekend. Today the rice has been good so far, but tomorrow? Who knows!
Hopefully this will pass soon. I’m too tired to keep going this way.

Updates

06/03/2006

SFCityline.jpg
Man, I’ve been really sad at blogging this year. I’ve had lots of things going on including the much awaited visit by my parents in February. My mom and dad finally made it out to see sunny California and I showed them everything I could from Monterey to San Francisco. It was so good to spend time with them.
On newer news, I chopped my hair off again this week, so I look more like the Freshman year of college/wedding day/move to California Stephanie. I just realized that I had been putting my hair in a stupid ponytail every single day and was frustrated that it took a half hour just to blow dry my hair, let alone style it (hence the ponytail). So, I decided to go short but fabulous & am loving it.
I had some interesting spiritual realizations a week ago. Josh was gone at Neal & Jess’s wedding, so I had lots of time to myself to think. I got to thinking and praying about what keeps us from fully experiencing God in this life. I listened to a sermon on lust, only this pastor defined lust not purely as a sexual thing. He said it was a demand thing, as in “I want it and I want it now.” When people want something so bad that they’ll go around all the proper routes in order to get it sooner. I realized that this translated to many things in life – lust for money, lust for power, lust for acceptance, lust for sex, lust for material items, etc. And what pushes us toward these things? I think it’s fear. Fear that we won’t be loved, fear that people won’t like us if we don’t have the right things, fear that we’ll get defeated, fear that we’ll end up poor and on the streets, fear that we won’t be respected… you get the idea. So, I’ve been praying for God to reveal my fears to me and to defeat them. It’s amazing how He answers this prayer and I had my deepest fears revealed to me very soon after that prayer. I’m not going to get into what they are here, but I will say that understanding your deepest fears is a huge step to understanding who you are and why you make the decisions you do. I also learned that it’s at the root of many addictions as well. Anyway, just some thoughts and praise to God for being so faithful as my Teacher.
Josh and I went to a Beck concert on Tuesday night. That was pretty sweet. You gotta love Beck. Especially when he has puppets. Puppets and teddy bears.
Oh, and I got food poisoning on Thursday night. Today (Saturday) I was finally able to keep some solid food down around dinnertime, so you can guess what a rough couple of days it’s been. Bright side is that I was able to fit into my skinny jeans today. I’d rather wear the fat jeans and not have food poisoning, but I’m just trying to find the positive side to food poisoning to make it seem less depressing.
Peace!

Guild Meetings in the Art Room

05/18/2006

I made some obscure World of Warcraft reference while teaching a few weeks ago and one of my students totaly freaked out and told the whole school that I knew about World of Warcraft. That little spark has unleashed itself in my classroom in ways I never thought possible. Today, for the third consecutive week, student groups have held WoW guild meetings in my class.
Here’s one of my fave overheard (eavesdropped) conversations:
Tank-Guy: Okay, if we try to go down into this dungeon again we WILL SUCCEED. *groans all around* This will be the THIRD time we tried it, and that’s just sad. Priest-Student, we need you to stand back and make sure we’re all healed so we can take on that robot-thing.
Priest-Student: I am SO not healing you guys like ever ever ever ever again. I’m using my alt this time. Let Crappy-Priest-Student heal you with his priest character.
Tank-Guy: No. We all know he sucks at healing. You’re the best we’ve got.
Priest-Student: I died like EIGHT TIMES! I spent like half of my computer time running back to my dead body! I’m not healing for you guys anymore if no one is going to look out for me. You’re all freaking running out of my line of sight while I’m trying to heal you. Then I end up pulling other dudes on me and I get screwed.
Rogue(?)-Student: She’s got a point. I can hang back and make sure Priest-Student is okay.
Tank-Guy: No way, dude. You’ve gotta open the can of whoop-ass on the bastards with me.
Crappy-Priest-Student: Ohhhh! Can I use my alt character and do whoop-ass too! Can I?
Everyone: NO!
Heh heh. Teaching has wandered into a realm I never thought possible. As they left my class I waved and said, “Light be with you!” One of the boys turned around with a fist in the air and chanted, “For the alliance!” Rock on.

Endless Summer Starts Now

05/15/2006

vball.jpg
I just can’t stop thinking about volleyball and surfing.
It’s like, every warm ray of sunshine, every drop of sweat on my forehead, every step I take… it’s all somehow connected to volleyball and surfing. It’s the smells and sounds of summer that lure me on to the activities and friends of summer. To the low-key good times at the park or at the beach or in the ocean or at a community gym. I started training again so my body can handle my beloved sports of summer.
I think if anything keeps me from moving to Minnesota ever again (besides Josh), this is going to be it. Sure, I can find volleyball in Minnesota. But not so much surfing there. Except for the crazy people that take on Superior during blizzards, but that’s just freaking insane.
Oh, and in case you were wondering…
WebBrowsingSign.png

Time to Enjoy

05/07/2006

Despite being insanely busy with nine-kajillion homework assignments lately, I have found some time to do the things I love. I play volleyball every Saturday morning at De Anza College, a community college just down the street from me. I’ll be starting my Wednesday night outdoor games in two weeks as well. That’s the best way to get sunshine, in my opinion. That and surfing and horseback riding. I may also join a Japanese league on Sundays if I can test in. You have to prove that you are above a certain level and get voted in. That could be a cool venue to meet people and get my game on.
Josh and I have been playing World of Warcraft. I’ve finally leveled my character up enough that Josh isn’t totally humiliated to play in my group. I’m proud to say that I’m now a level 24 human priest. I just got a mana burn spell yesterday, so I want to duel Josh’s mage and put up a shield then burn his mana like mad. He’ll probably still beat me, but it’ll be cool.
I’ve also had time to read several books. Since I spend so much time in the car driving to class, I’ve been listening to audiobooks on my iPod. I’m just polishing off the Narnia series. I also just finished Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim by David Sedaris. He’s mega shocking at times, but funny as all get out.
In terms of books-you-hold-in-your-hands, I recently finished How to Be Good by Nick Hornby. This one has been on my shelf for like two years waiting to be read and I finally couldn’t stand it any longer. Considering that I’ve loved other Hornby books, I knew I’d love this one too. This one was actually much better than I expected though. It was hilarious and also asked big questions about what it really means to be good in this world. Good read.
I’m currently reading Word Freak: Heartbreak, Triumph, Genius, and Obsession in the World of Competitive Scrabble Players by Stefan Fatsis. This one is also a great read. Fatsis puts himself into the Scrabble world and starts competing and obsessing over it. As someone who has always rocked at living room Scrabble games, this was a big eye opener. I would pretty much stink at competitive Scrabble unless I got in on the bizarre behavior, word memorization, and the obsessive anagramming. Fascinating look at the world of Scrabble and Fatsis is a very good non-fiction writer to boot; the competitive Scrabble scene really comes to life.
I recognize now that my passtimes currently revolve around escapism. The things I do help me to be in another world – be it jumping in the strategy and athleticism of volleyball or being a character in WoW or seeing through someone else’s eyes in a book. I suppose that my life is perhaps too stressfull to try to exist in my own life any more than I currently do. But, hey, I feel pretty healthy and happy and am getting through all of my coursework so I must be doing pretty well.
Oh, quick sidenote, a bunch of my drawings will be featured in the art gallery at the Krause Center for Innovation for the next month or so. It’s my first art show out in California and, to be honest, I’m a little amazed I was able to squeeze that in around all of the chaos. Hopefully I’ll have lots more time to create artwork after all of these classes are done. Here’s one of the 17 drawings that will be in the show:

aircompressor-web.jpg

P.S. I just told Josh that the art featured in this show is “the most uninteresting art I’ve ever done.” It’s basically just drawings of stuff around my house because I was tired but knew I needed to keep making art. So, when you have no inspiration, you just draw the stuff around you. The above pic is of an old air compressor.

Icing on the Cake

04/15/2006

Well, just a couple of days after winning Teacher or the Year, I was told that I need to get another credential to be able to have English language learners in my classroom. The one I got in Minnesota doesn’t count for beans. I need a new one and they could suspend my pay if I don’t get it. Because this nice flashy new one (that covers all the same stuff my MN credential does) helps support the communist regime known as higher education in California and why shouldn’t I get it when it’s for the children… the CHILDREN!?! I digress…
I knew I needed this certificate and had worked out with the higher powers that be for me to get it after my masters was completed in Spring 2007. But, apparently they’ve changed their minds. I now need it as close to now as I can get. So, I’m currently enrolled in 18 units of classes while teaching full time. And, for the first time in my life, I’ve taken on the “C is for cookie mentality” in my education. Here are some thoughts I’ve had to classwork in the past week, “What? The required paper length is 12 pages? I’ll give you 8. That assignment is only worth 10 points? Hmmm… not gonna do it. Excuse me, teacher, what would a C paper look like?” And so on. So much for bettering myself, I’m on survival mode baby.
Granted, I do as well as I can. And I’ll probably still get A’s in most of my classes. I just need the certificate and don’t care as much about grades as I used to. See, now there are more important things in life like, I don’t know, God, family, volleyball, WoW. In that order. So, if doing half of the assignment for a C means Josh and I get to invade a mine filled with bandits and knuckledusters, then so be it.
Best part is, some of the classes I’m taking are online. I’ve spent all day doing a tutorial on how to use e-mail, the Internet, and learning about netiquette. Did you know that you can send attachments in your e-mail and that the word netiquette comes from the words network etiquette? I did. But now I know again. I just finished a quiz on online learning preparedness and found out that I am prepared to use online learning because, by gum, I know how to plug in my computer. I wish that I could have just told them that my husband is an Engineer and I know a lot about computers for the good of my family. That should have been enough to waive this way-too-long tutorial.
Oh, and I heard a rumor that the Teacher of the Year wins a year of free pasta. Mmmm… pasta. If only pasta were money… that would be sweet.

Milestone

04/09/2006

I just found out on Friday that I am Teacher of the Year. I’ve been nominated the last several years, but this is the first time I’ve won. It’s kind of nice given how hard I work and how I’m constantly doing something related to teaching or improving my school or professional development or whatnot. Anyway, just thought I’d post it since it’s a bit of a milestone in my teaching career.

Best Concerns Ever

04/07/2006

In my classroom, I have these pink papers in a folder & kids fill them out if they have any issues or concerns about projects or life etc. It’s great, because I don’t have groups of students whining or telling me things I’ll forget anyway. So, if a kid has an issue, I tell them to put it in writing. Then I deal with all the issues when I have time later in the day. Usually kids are concerned about a ceramic project breaking or being absent on a day we had a video assignment or someone being mean to them.
Well, I got the best concern sheet ever. Here is the jist of it:
Describe your concern:
Could we have a younger selection of music?
(My comment: Never mind that I’m playing new albums, apparently The Gorillaz, The Fray, Relient K, Sheryl Crow, etc. are “old.” I’ll send them the memo so they are in the loop.)
What would you like to happen?
Maybe with this give you some song titles?
(My comment: Maybe we should listen to improve your grammar music instead.)
What do you need? What can Mrs. L do to help?
Are kind of music. It’s awesome. This is our last year, and starting of the last quarter, can we have a really really fun time!
(My comment: Besides cringing at the grammar, I understand their desire to have a really really fun time. Only problem is, I don’t think their music is a a fun time. That’s because I’m old. Oh, and I also think the music is inappropriate for the classroom (See “My Humps” from their suggested list of song titles below. Oh, and I kept their lovely spelling for amusement).
Suggested song titles:

  • tell me when to go – “sensored”
  • grilz, by Nelly
  • ruin it, by Chris brown
  • gasolina, Daddy yankey
  • Lean wit it, Francise Boys
  • Oh I think they like me, Bow Wow, dabrat
  • Delema, by nelly
  • My humbs, by B.E.P.
  • Like you, bow wow, ciara
  • 1,2 step, ciara
  • Rompe by Daddy Yankee
  • Stick wit yu, pussycat dolls


So, maybe some of this music is actually decent. One of my other students just starred all of the “hoochie” ones for me so I would know which ones to avoid. Anyway, totally amused. I’m going to check out some of these songs on iTunes later.

What is failure?

04/05/2006

Today was the first time in my entire teaching career when I collected an assignment, started grading it, and went, “Oh my gosh… these are terrible.” I mean, usually I’ll have at least a few that stand out. This one… zippo. So, I had to reel back and ask myself some important questions. What did I do different? Is there something special about this particular group of students that I missed? Did I rush them? I remember feeling that the assignment was rushed, but I was having a hard time keeping kids focused so the inevitable was to set a due date. *Sigh*
So, I’m not going to put the assignment on this quarter grades. I didn’t even finish grading them (probably more because I was disgused in the possibility that I failed as a teacher, and felt better telling myself, “They’re just not done yet.”) Tomorrow, instead of moving on to painting, the kids will get their drawings back. They will watch me shade again. The will get a talk about standards and working hard and focusing and all that stuff I don’t like to spout off about. Then, they’ll keep working on it until they are at least tolerable. I wish I could somehow see myself teaching or figure out what happened.
Then again, another math teacher was upset yesterday because almost all of her students failed a test, so now she’s reteaching the whole unit. Maybe the kids are tweaking out because it’s been raining for like two months straight. Maybe it’s because of the field trips. I’d like to think that it wasn’t me and that my students are capable of greater than this. Here’s to the next two days to see if that end can’t be accomplished.

Friday Collapse

03/31/2006

Okay, so I didn’t collapse. Maybe I should say that my energy just totally crashed today. At about second period, I just felt like my energy reserves were depleted and even coffee wasn’t helping this time. I actually think it’s some kind of bizarre sickness that me and several of my students got. Just kind of an achey, no-energy sort of thing. Hopefully some rest this weekend will cure things.
And I’ve got lots to look forward to! Spring ahead means outdoor volleyball starts up again. And, there will finally be a new Gilmore Girls episode this Tuesday night. Oh, and I’m up to level 11 in World of Warcraft, it’s pretty fun. And I’m reading a couple of books for fun. I know… unheard of. Perhaps I may be able to work some surfing in there somewhere. So, even despite the energy shortage, I guess things are looking up.

Newer Posts
Older Posts