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I am an artist & teacher with a ❤ for visual expression, educational methodology, homesteading, & Jesus. My geek-love is The Joshua and we have three peanut-butters: Caleb, Jack, & Louritta.

Caleb Updates

10/09/2007

Caleb can roll from his back to his side. He gets all frustrated and grunts a lot, then starts rocking with his head until he gets on his side. Then he has a look of extreme satisfaction.
Caleb can flail his arms to turn on the music of his Smart Start Turtle. You just have to bump the legs and it turns on. He will flail until the music starts, then freeze and listen very seriously. When the music stops, he cries out and then starts flailing again.
Caleb can watch the mobile on his crib go round and round. He flails his arms and legs and makes funny noises. We have this one on video and I’ll link to it when I have time to get it up.
If you lay Caleb on his belly and put your hands on his feet, he will straighten out his legs causing him to move forward. If there is something ahead of him that he wants (like Daddy), he will do this repeatedly until he can get to it. This also has lots of grunts and head bobs associated with it.
Caleb loves taking baths. He never cries and loves to listen to me sing and talk to him during the bath.
Caleb does not sleep well during the day. He just gets crabbier and crabbier until I can finally woo him down. That’s been our new focus is teaching him to sleep during nap times. He seems to just want to stay awake and take in all of the daytime stuff. I’ve had to bring him into dark, boring rooms for hours to calm him down enough to sleep. Josh can also get him to sleep pretty easily in the Baby Bjorn. I think Caleb falls asleep better with Josh than me when he’s crabby because he knows Josh can’t feed him!
Caleb sleeps well at night. Usually for 3-4 hours straight before waking for a feeding. I usually lay down with him around 8:00 p.m. and nurse him to sleep. He seems to be pretty mellow and ready to sleep by evening time!
So, those are the Caleb updates. He’s now 34 days old.

I’m Okay With That

10/08/2007

MommyStephCaleb.jpg
It’s been interesting to see how I adapt from crazy-busy Stephanie to Mommy Stephanie. While teaching art full time, crazy-busy Stephanie finished her master’s degree, National Board Certification, several art classes, CLAD credential, BTSA program (don’t ask), and California teaching credential in an amazing four years. She also took on many side gigs such as grant writing, technology development, freelance design and teaching projects, mentoring new teachers… you get the idea. Now, I do none of that. I am Mommy Stephanie.
The hardest part about being mommy Stephanie is changing my clock from “normal time” to “Caleb time.” Caleb time is an elusive schedule that I cannot download to my iCal and usually doesn’t even make sense. Caleb time is not orderly, predictable, or even sensical. Just yesterday, I figured out how to make it all work though. I stop, take a breath, and say, “I’m okay with that.”
Let me explain. Today, I was pulling out of the Babies ‘R Us parking lot on my way home. Cue Caleb and his definitive “Oh man, I’m in the car seat ALONE” cry. I have nicknamed Caleb “Velociraptorcaleb” when he does this. I pulled off the road (back into the Babies ‘R Us parking lot), and climbed in the back seat to nurse him, which led to changing his diaper, which led to nursing him again, which led to many jaunts of burping him, rocking him, singing songs, having a one-sided conversation… Then I thought, “Come on Caleb, I want to get home! Hurry up!” Sensing my own frustration, I stopped and was wondering what my big hurry was. Then, I envisioned myself staying longer in the parking lot to care for and love my child and thought, “I’m okay with that.” I stayed another hour just rocking and loving him to sleep. That was one excellent hour and I’m glad I took it. I drove home with a peaceful, sleeping baby in the back.
Here are other things I have decided that I am okay with:

  • Being “thicker” than usual for the next several however-many-months-it-takes without obsessing over dieting and crazy exercise.
  • Changes in friendships with my friends who are not fans of children.
  • Taking the worlds fastest showers.
  • Eating cold meals one-handed while standing.
  • The extra laundry.
  • Sharing tasks with my husband.
  • Not cleaning my floors or bathrooms for, well, I won’t tell you how bad it is. 🙂
  • Only checking my e-mail every other day, replying to some of the e-mails once a week.
  • Phone? Call you back? Probably not.
  • Being late to things. Or skipping them altogether.
  • Having to pick my clothes the day before I wear them and setting them in the bathroom so I can change quickly the next day.
  • Not being able to reach my book while holding Caleb, which causes me to sit there and sing broadway musicals in my head to keep entertained. This can take hours.
  • Not worrying about what is happening to my art program.
  • Calling myself lucky if I accomplish one non-Caleb thing each day.

As you can see, Mommy Stephanie has had to learn a whole new approach to life. It’s calmer and streamlined. Only the most important stuff stays. Everything else gets cancelled or completely ignored altogether. It’s a different kind of life, but I’m okay with that.
My daily reminder to myself: When I am on my deathbed, I will not regret that I didn’t have a cleaner house.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Worth It?

09/23/2007

So, I’ve watched half of the first season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Many of my friends have watched and loved the show, so I figured I’d give it a shot. Problem is, I’m not really into it. Occasionally there is a funny moment, or some neat acrobatics. Apart from that, I’m just not getting into the plot.
Josh says that he thinks we need to just “hold on a little longer” and trust that it will get better. I feel ready to stop watching it altogether. I’m confused. Should I continue watching or stop? Will it get better? Is it just not my type of show?
I can’t wait for Heroes and Battlestar Galactica to start up again.

Motherhood Thoughts

09/23/2007

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I LOVE BEING A MOM! Seriously, look at that baby. He’s so easy to love! Even when crying or peeing on me or his new favorite – spitting up on Mommy after she just showered and put on clean clothes. The more time I spend with him, the more I learn that he has different kinds of cries. He also has ways that he communicates before he starts to cry that I’m picking up on as well. It helps me to comfort and love him better and overall makes our relationship better. It’s like a detective game! “What does Caleb need now? Let’s look at the clues!”
Caleb’s latest issue has been getting all fussy right when we are about to eat dinner. Even if we eat at a different time each night, it’s as though he can sense us putting hot food on the table. I figured out that he needs to eat more during that time, but prefers to eat for 10 minutes, then sleep for 20 minutes… repeat for about two hours. But he’s super happy and content then. I’m guessing he’s hit one of those growth spurt times again, so he needs the extra food and love.
My daily goals currently include (in no particular order): Feed Caleb, clean Caleb, change Caleb’s diaper, hold and love Caleb, and basically keep Caleb happy. I also have personal goals to daily shower and put on clean clothes, get sleep, connect with Josh, and to not forget to feed myself. On a good day I also pick up the house and maybe briefly entertain some guests, run an errand, or do some computer work. Sometimes that doesn’t work out, but I’m okay with it.
People have asked me if I’m “all stressed out” or look at me all concerned because, apparently, beginning motherhood is supposed to be all stressful. I haven’t found it to be that. In fact, it seems kind of like a vacation after I finished working full time while getting my master’s degree in the evenings, getting my National Board certification and CLAD credential, and all that other stuff I’ve been doing. I’ve been reading books (BOOKS!) of my own choosing here and there. I basically just love having my personal tasks be more simplified and under one roof. It rocks.
This will be my first full week of no Josh at home. I’m glad he got to stay home for as long as he did. His love and care helped to make this transition to motherhood so much easier on me. My husband rocks. My baby rocks. Life is good.

Caleb at Church

09/16/2007

Today was Caleb’s first day at church. It was so joyful to walk in with him and see the faces of our church family light up with joy. Many of these people have been praying for us for years, so I just felt blessed beyond belief to be holding God’s provision in my hands.
I had my first mom-reaction when the greeter told me where the nursery was. Without even thinking, I clutched Caleb and turned my body as if to say, “I’m not putting him in the NURSERY!” Then I thought, “Wow, that was smooth, Stephanie. Now she thinks you’re a clingy, obsessive mother.” I countered by saying that he was only eleven days old and I wasn’t ready to leave him in a nursery yet. She understood.
Caleb was pretty good during the service. He slept in his sling through worship and prayer time. Then, half way through the sermon, he let out this loud shreak. Pastor Mark said, “Just let him scream, Stephanie, I appreciate the feedback.”
I took him to the baby room and fed him. He was having a hard time latching on (breastfeeding) and the lady who ran the room kept on giving me advice about how to get him to latch on. I finally said, “He’s usualy really good at latching on, only this time he’s having to compete with two crying children, a musical monkey, and some kids banging on pots.” Man that room was loud. After the pot-bangers got taken on a stroller walk, Caleb settled in and was fine. Josh was wandering around looking for us after the service until he finally discovered that churches have nurseries! I heard him in the hall say, “Oh, that would make sense that she’d go in here.” Ah, the joys of new parenthood.
We finished off our evening with some McDonald’s (Steph’s healthy suggestions include the grilled ranch chicken snack wrap and the fruit & walnut salad). Now, we might watch a movie! Wow-wee!

Caleb Has Arrived

09/08/2007

Caleb Stephen Lewis
He’s finally here. I’m sure I’ll write more later about my experiences, but right now Josh and I are just excited about getting to know him. You can check this blog, my Flickr photos, and Josh’s blog for updates.
I will also remove the freaky “space baby” countdown from the sidebar at this point.
Oh, by the way, his name is Caleb Stephen Lewis, and he’s beautiful.

No Baby Yet.

09/03/2007

I told Josh the other day that I am so ready to give birth that I’m not afraid of any of the pain involved. In fact, I said, if women had to get hit by semi-trucks on the freeway in order to give birth, I’d be out there right now jumping in front of the huge, fast-moving ones. He apparently thinks I’m crazy. Perhaps I am, but I also think that I’m carrying the world’s largest baby. If not the largest, then definitely the strongest. I already have him signed up for a couple of human truck pulls next month.
I also feel like I am the hugest person alive. A few months ago, people would smile at me in stores like, “Oh, look at the cute pregnant lady.” Now they look at me horrified as though I’m going to fall on the floor and give birth at any moment. Even my biggest shirts need to get pulled down regularly to cover my belly. My mom got me a tank top a long time ago and, upon receiving it, I thought, “I’ll never be that big!” Well, I’m bigger than that. I’m thinking of designing some kind of downward suspenders that pull shirts down instead of keeping pants up. They’d be a big hit with pregnant ladies and plumbers. *sigh*
Tonight, when we were leaving Target, I told Josh to just walk ahead of me and get our stuff loaded in the car because I walk too slow. A with-child couple walking by us must have heard me because I overheard the guy say to his wife, “Sweet! That lady lets her husband walk ahead! You always forced me to stay back and walk slow with you…” Then she slapped him.
I had a dream the other night that I went to the doctor for a check-up and she looked at me and said, “Wow! You’re already 7 centimeters dilated! Haven’t you been feeling any contractions?” And I was like, “No.” And she sent me over to the hospital where I promptly gave birth with zero pain involved. Sweet. I go to the doctor tomorrow so hopefully that will happen. I realize that all women in the world would hate me for having a completely painless childbirth, but that is a hatred I am willing to endure. 🙂
On another note, Josh mentioned the other day all of the “safety nets” he was going to set up on our home computer systems to protect our child from all of the evils of the world. To which I said, “You know that will only teach him to be a hacker, right?” He responded, “I know, but hackers make bank!” It made sense in Josh’s mind, so who am I to argue?

Baby Names

08/27/2007

I’ve had lots of weird dreams lately, and they usually involve having children and strange things that go with that. The funniest part has been waking up and going, “We named our kid ______?!?!” Here are my the baby names that have shown up in my dreams:
Layla Lee Lewis
(which Josh later changed to Layla Lola Lewis)
Truman Lewis
Swedes Lewis
Huey Lewis
(and we got him a dog named “The News”)
Calvin Hobbes Lewis
Trace Vixen Lewis
(He, yes HE, insisted on dressing like a little mobster in three-piece, pin-striped suits with cool hats, and he had a gold pocket watch & chain. I’m not sure where our baby acquired the pocket watch, but I guessed it was from his mob connections. I didn’t dare take it from him lest I receive some harsh consequences from “the boys.”)
Keep in mind that these were DREAM NAMES, and we have no intention of using any of the above when our son is born (although “Swedes” is tempting…). I have no idea how these names were manifest in the depths of my sub-conscious.
I have also woken up from many dreams in a panic going, “The baby! Is he okay!?!” Then, I stumble out of bed to attend to said baby that I have apparently forgotten about for hours. Of course, I am then reminded that we don’t actually have a baby yet and that I’m just pregnant. That’s weird.

Capitola It Is!

08/18/2007

capitola.jpg
After I finished my work on my master’s degree, Josh said that I needed to come up with something that I wanted to do to celebrate. This was literally what I thought:
“GO SURFING! YEAH! I’ve been wanting to surf for so long… oh. Wait. Um. No surfing. Okay, second choice. VOLLEYBALL! Get a bunch of people at a park and play all day long and… oh. Wait. Um. *sigh* No volleyball. Okay, third choice. Something safer than surfing and volleyball that an 8 months pregnant woman can do. Hmmmm. Oh, I know, HORSEBACK RIDING! Yeah! My friend owes me some trail rides so we’ll just kick it in at her vineyard and ride all day! Oh. Wait. Dangit!”
So, that was kind of depressing. But then, I finally thought of something I want to do that is not physically difficult and probably relaxing. I want to go to Capitola with Josh and hang out! It’s one of my fave Northeren California beach towns, usually with some pretty good surfing nearby. (Don’t worry, I won’t surf unless I finish my “Pregnant Woman’s Surfboard” before then. Patent pending. Patent pending. Patent pending.) I’m thinking of chilling on the beach, getting some iced somethingaccinos, walking around, taking some photos with my new sweet camera, reading stuff… that kind of thing.
I also want to get to the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art to check out the Matisse exhibit. I knew it was there and thought I had missed it (like I did the Picasso exhibit. I’m such an idiot.), but I didn’t! It’ll be there until September 16th so I’ll have some time to check it out! Yeah!
If there’s time, I may also go to the Asian Art Museum to check out their crazy Manga exhibits. We’ll see though.
I’ll go in to work at Hyde for two days next week to set up things for my maternity leave. Then, I have some freelance design projects that I’ll be working on in the meantime. There’s a webdesign project I’ll finish up in a couple of days, then a much bigger one that’s going to require a ton of design work and lots of content re-writing. Hopefully I’ll be able to update my own portfolio after that to reflect my freelance designer status instead of my master’s degree portfolio being posted at my “business” domain. I have started mapping out designs for it so it will better reflect me and what I can do.
So, there you have it. Relaxing but still designing. Things are good!

Done. I Can’t Believe It.

08/17/2007

Many of you know that, though I technically graduated from my master’s program in May, I still had some “loose ends” that needed to be tied up. (By “loose ends,” I mean two Incomplete classes). I had hoped to tie them up early this summer, but holding down two jobs (teaching a technology institute for teachers and teaching English Language Learners), while being in stitches and in my third trimester of pregnancy has made the whole thing way more complicated than I had hoped.
Last night I finished. BOTH CLASSES. Seriously.
This will be the first time I have had no schooling hanging over my head since kindergarten.
So, today I’m running off to San José State so I can hand in my final work and turn in some paperwork that says I’m done and all that other fine stuff. I may not get my official degree until December, but I just don’t care. It’s done. I don’t have to think about it anymore.
I think I’ll still take some classes after this though. I’m thinking surfing, volleyball, cooking, dog training. Fun ones with no homework! Wait, do they offer a sleeping class? I may take that one too!
No more school! No more books! No more teacher’s dirty looks!

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