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I am an artist & teacher with a ❤ for visual expression, educational methodology, homesteading, & Jesus. My geek-love is The Joshua and we have three peanut-butters: Caleb, Jack, & Louritta.

Who Am I?

11/13/2004

You know, it’s so weird to come back to Minnesota. I was trying to explain this to my dad and it all seemed so strange. When people ask me what I want my life to be like…I never know what to say. I mean, I want to glorify God. If I get pushed to be more specific, I might say that I want to glorify God with the gifts and talents He has given me (teaching, art, etc.).
This is odd coming from a girl who used to have her whole life planned. If you asked me in high school what I wanted my life to look like… I knew what I wanted to be, where I wanted to go to college, where I wanted to go to school…all that. And now, it’s all out the window. I just am kind of open to whatever adventure comes up.
My dad asked me what it was like being back in Minnesota and I said that when I looked at myself I kind of saw two people. One person is the Californian Stephanie who is learning to surf, knows where practically every Starbucks in a 10 mile radius is located (which is actually currently a total of 59), loves the city life, works way hard, & is busy and bustling. She has lots of 1/2 done paintings and ideas, but gets frustrated at the lack of time or energy to make them. She is very world-oriented and wants to travel a lot and learn different languages.
The other me I see is the chilled out Minnesotan Stephanie who rides horses and has nothing planned for several weekends at a time. She reads and paints a lot and loves animals. She is very neighborhood-family oriented.
And they’re so different. The things I really see in common between both Stephanie’s is: Josh, Henson, Art, God. Everything else kind of comes and goes.
I don’t know which Stephanie I’ll be this time next year. Maybe a third personality will be added. I’m just kind of getting through this adventure of life, trying to avoid bumps and bruises whenever possible. I wish there was some way to be one Stephanie again. Or will I never be? Maybe I’ll just keep adding more and more sides to myself as time goes on. What is the right way to go? Is this God teaching me to be all things to all men? Or do I just have a multi-personality disorder?
1 Corinthians 9
21To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. 22To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. 23I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.

Whew!

11/10/2004

I’ve had like six things every day for the past several weeks. Ick. It’s that kind of business where your idea of a good time is a really really comfortable chair. Here’s what I’ve been up to:
Grading, grading more, entering end of quarter grades, fielding parent calls, parent meetings, planning and doing small group, planning and doing Christian Club, leading worship @ a weekend retreat, attending meetings & doing homework for my National Board Certification, speaking at a technology fundraiser dinner, shopping to get pants & a boogie board, grading more stuff, bringing Henson-the-Psycho to the vet, cleaning my house, doing laundry (oh…the laundry got way to out of hand), considering a redesign for my studio space (I’m thinking shelves & drawers to put stuff in instead of piles), organizing a cross-curricular portfolio for all the 6th graders at my school, helping design/order for the art program at the new middle school, filling out recommendation forms for students, more grading, responding to an insane amount of e-mail (again…got way to out of hand), cooking meals, getting groceries, forgetting my parents’ anniversary, taking pictures & starting a couple of paintings (recently put on hold due to the studio redesign idea), traveling the area with my mom and aunt, dinner with friends, volleyball league (practice and games…woo hoo, we’re in first place!), listening to lots of people, writing grant proposals, ordering supplies, kiln washing my kiln, firing a ton of clay projects, buying children’s books about art, Starbucks, Halloween/Birthday parties, Church, going to see David Sedaris read stuff, hanging out with Josh, Jr. High Church, listening to The Message and The Bible Jesus Read on my iPod, Reading Hurt and some book about Church leaders, website work, ePortfolio site work, meetings, organizing new curriculum, hanging out with students, fixing broken computers on campus and technological problem solving, forgetting to return phone calls, sorting through a giganto pile of papers…
You get the idea. It’s been crazy. Here’s hoping for an opening of calm.

Updated Pics

10/31/2004

I just updated my picture page. I know, it took me forever, but good things come to those who wait! There is a large variety of pics below and, as usual, they illustrate the hilarity and antics that is my Californian life! Woo hoo! I hope you enjoy them!
Here’s what I’ve added:

    • Hyde Halloween: Hyde had a pumpkin decorating contest (my class won!) and I dressed up as Frida Kahlo. (October 29th, 2004)


  • Haleigh’s Baptism: Haleigh got baptised and these are the pics of that awesome day. Haleigh is SO AWESOME! I was so pumped and blessed by her baptism. (October 2004)
  • Josh the Rocker: Josh tried on this wig of mine and it was so hilarious because he totally looked like a heavy metal rocker dude from the 80’s. So, he started acting all wacky and I caught it all on the camera! Woo-hoo! (Summer 2004)
  • PBCC Jr. High Staff Disney Trip: The staff of the Jr. High ministry at my church went to the Youth Specialties conference in Anaheim. We had a blast! (Sept. 23-26th, 2004).
  • Malia’s Birthday: Camille and I went out with Malia for her birthday and we had tons of fun! (Summer 2004)
  • Henson’s Bowl: This is a bowl I made for Henson. (July 2004)
  • Smooth n’ Creamy: This is a performance titled “Smooth n’ Creamy” that Camille and I did at River Camp. It was a blast! (July 2004)

Condiment Neglect or I Hate CostCo

10/23/2004

Recently, there has been an unidentified odor in my refrigerator. I couldn’t figure it out. I went through all of the shelves and removed the tupperware containers of “mystery meatloaf” and the like. But, it still stunk. So, I replaced the baking soda and wiped down all of the shelves. But, it was still stinky. I couldn’t figure out the mystery and was about to give up, when I noticed something. I admit it, I am guilty of Gross Condiment Neglect.
About two years ago, Josh and I thought we’d get a CostCo (like Sam’s Club) membership to save money. Well, I’m not sure that we saved any money, but it sure felt like we saved lots! See, you can get insane amounts of pretty much anything there for like $6.00. So, we got the super-size of everything. After today, I have decided that the CostCo membership will not be renewed.
Problem is, there is no way that two people can eat the CostCo size of things. So, it just hangs out in the fridge. Here is my list of seriously expired items: buttermilk ranch dressing, Miracle Whip, two bottles of ketchup and one of mustard, a nasty thing of concord grape jelly, some tempura dipping sauce, sour cream (oh man…ick), some Trader Joe’s beef marinade, honey-mustard dip, ranch dip (this one wins the nasty-yuck prize), lemon juice, kosher pickles that ain’t so kosher anymore, and some lime juice with blue floaty things in it.
I know, many of you are thinking, “What? But Steph, you’re insanely efficient. You’d never let anything like this happen.” I too thought the same thing, then I realized that the mismanagement of my condiments is merely a symbol of a much deeper issue. My last year has been so busy that I’ve turned a blind eye to the creatures in my refridgerator’s produce drawer…literally. But tonight, I was forced to slow down because the Lord has blessed/cursed me with some kind of stomach flu thingy and I got bored sitting on the couch and decided to investigate the fridge problem once again. Sometimes God has to trip us up a bit to get us to look at life.
Seriously, though, go look in your refridgerator, it’s a great symbol of how your life is going. What kind of food is in there? How long has it been there? How is it organized? Is it kosher?
After the great clean out, mine is sparkling clean and contains about eight items. Okay, so it’s a little minimalist, but at least I know I can eat that stuff before it goes bad. That’s gotta be worth something.

Using My eMagination

10/20/2004

I love working with this generation of techie kids. One of my students just wrote on a paper that she loved to use her eMagination when creating art because it made her work more expressive. eMagination? Oh! Imagination…with a techie kid twist. Sad part is, I think she really thinks that’s how to spell it. My generation was known as Generation X, and I think these kids should be called the eGeneration.
I also love when they write papers for you and use all of the AIM speak. You know the lol, rofl, brb, afk, asl?, and all that fun stuff. And, I love all of the grammatical replacements: u/you, r/are, ppl/people, and all that stuff. It drives me nuts when it’s used in totally wrong places. But, I’m amazed at the sort of electronic culture they’ve created for themselves. It’s totally bizarre and totally unlike anything I would have predicted fifteen years ago.

Crappy Play

10/19/2004

Man, I played the crappiest volleyball game yesterday. Maybe I’m just down because it was my team’s first loss this season. The team we played was one of those teams with a bunch of jumpy, manly, hard-hitting guys. They had the two required females, who obviously felt inferior to the guys’ playing ability. Our team, on the other hand, has all girls and two boys. So, I feel pretty good when we hold our own up against the crazy boy teams.
Anyway, I had a couple of really good hits. But, I’m mostly remembering the stupid hits. The ones where I got a piece of the ball and sent it flying the wrong direction. Or the times I tried to tap it up to the setter, but hit it too hard and gave the manly men a perfect set with which to smash it back in my face. It was indeed a hard game. I know I was capable of better play but it just wasn’t there last night.
I was reflecting on how volleyball, or any sport game for that matter, is kind of like life condensed in a short period of time. You have a good hit and everyone gives you high-fives and you feel all good about yourself. Then a crazy ball comes and you hit it out to the bleachers. Everyone gives you a “it’s okay, better next time!” kind of thing. You try to shake it off. Then you hit another crappy ball and another. Then people start telling you what to do. “Turn your body! Angle to the net!” Blah blah blah. And you know how to hit it, but for some dumb reason you’re just not hitting it right. You start to feel bad. “Why am I playing this???” you ask yourself. But then, you hit another super ball and you’re feeling good. High-fives all around.
And you experience all of these ups and downs in the course of one game. I guess I think playing volleyball has not only been super for me physically, but also in strengthening me mentally. I need to focus on evening out my emotions. Not letting big hits go to my head and bad hits get me down. I need to look at every ball as a new day, a fresh start, and attack it with all I have an know. Then, after it’s hit, learn from it, forget about it, then prep for the next ball. Kind of like life…

Poem for Grace (Inspired by a Friend)

10/18/2004

my soul heaves up
bearing a hole
weakening my sight
straightening my walk
oh, my soul groans out, oh
pleading for Grace
please come! seek me out!
i’m here in my womb
that has become my grave
the whole world withers on my hips
the birth pangs arrive
with no breath inside
Lord, make me a bridge in my pain
make me a bridge in my pain
cover the scars
the tears from my labor
bring me to a place
on quickened WINGS
where i know I am safe
to let you be God
Rachel’s womb was closed
i saw You as filled with hate!
but your new beginning for her
was to be loved
she was loved!
deliver me Lord
deliver ME
from the picking and choosing of You
i’m desperate to know
Your pain, my grief
Your joy, my laugh
Your love, my Grace
my hole, replaced

The Great Coldstone Experiment

10/13/2004

The beauty and glory of Coldstone Creamery is that you get to make your own ice cream mix. One day several weeks ago, I was admiring the 20-something flavors and the forty-something mix in options when I got a bizarro idea. What would happen if someone got a small ice cream with every single mix-in mixed in??? WHAT WOULD HAPPEN???
That is how The Great Coldstone Experiment came into being. My and Camille‘s small group met for the first time last night. We took the girls to Coldstone and ordered it. They mixed one scoop of vanilla ice cream with every single topping. We’re talking chocolate, fudge, caramel, sprinkles, m&m, snickers, kit kat, hersheys bar, chocolate chips, macadamia nuts, walnuts, almonds, malt powder, marshmallows, marshmallow topping, graham crackers, cake, gummy bears, strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, banana, cookie dough…you get the idea. It was this huge globby ball of sugary-horror!!! It was all goopy and slimy and made this giant brownish glob. We asked for it in a waffle bowl so they stuck the waffle bowl in a big ice cream bucket then dumped all the goo in on top. They topped it with whipped cream, cherries, and chocolate sauce.
And we ate the whole thing.
We made a movie of it which I’ll put up soonish for you to see. I think we might theme it with a old-school horror movie kind of thing. That would be cool.
Anyhoo…I feel SO SICK today. They had a birthday celebration for the teachers with this huge cake, and everyone was eating it. I got so ill just looking at it and smelling it that I had to leave the party early. I ate a few sunflower seeds and those seem to have worked fine…but I can’t bear to eat the Krispy Kreme doughnut on my desk. *shudders*

Hunting for a MRS Degree

10/09/2004

I remember back in college listening to some of my guy friends be frustrated with the women who just came to college seeking their “MRS Degree.” They were mad that anyone would do this, and it just seemed downright dirty. At the time, I agreeed with them. Why wouldn’t a woman value her own education and career over a man?
But, now that I’m older and wiser ;-), I think seeking a MRS Degree is perfectly legitimate. I mean, go to school and learn stuff. That’s awesome. But, I’m finding that (if you’re the “marrying” type) having a good spouse is paramount to having a good life. I mean, having a good spouse as opposed to a bad spouse. I’m not trying to bring down the single folks cuz, hey, I totally respect the bachelor to the rapture!
Anyway, I’m actually really glad that I went to Bethel, which has a reputation for being “marrying” school because I think I had a really great selection of men to hang out with. And, I believe that I did find the absolute best one for me. And this marriage has blessed me more than my career has. Plus, you can always change your career during your life, but the idea is that you keep the same spouse. So, choose wisely and it might be helpful to go somewhere that has a good selection.
I also am really glad I went to Bethel because it really gave me a strong Christian environment to grow in. My family was kinda-Christian, but didn’t really read the Bible or pray together (besides meals) or anything like that. I was blown away to learn about who Jesus really was and all of that deeper cool stuff that they don’t teach you in Sunday School.
Any other knowledge I gained at Bethel was great, but really just a sidenote. The best things I left that school with (in order) are: a deeper understanding of & relationship with the Lord, an amazing husband, awesome friends & memories, and a teaching certificate.

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