I am an artist & teacher with a ❤ for visual expression, educational methodology, homesteading, & Jesus. My geek-love is The Joshua and we have three peanut-butters: Caleb, Jack, & Louritta.

Where is my spirit?

03/08/2004

Life seems like an accordian to me. There are times where everything is spread out and breathing. Where there is music being made. And times where everything seems to crush together, making no sound. Today was one of the crushing days. I have so much on my mind. I have so much to do at school, so many meetings, computer malfunctions, deadlines, developing, moving, painting, cleaning, prepping, maintaining relationships…and so on.
Now, many of you know me as a hard-working, somewhat stubborn person. It seems strange then that there were a few times where I felt like giving up and…I don’t know…being someone else for awhile. Or seeking some escape. But where to? And who is to say that it would bring me any kind of comfort?

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

I know where I can escape. Back to that pier in my mind. Back to that place where songs and praises float up to God like incense. And he is pleased.

The priest shall take a handful of the fine flour and oil, together with all the incense, and burn this as a memorial portion on the altar, an offering made by fire, an aroma pleasing to the LORD. Leviticus 2:2

My need for God has been revealed to me today. My need for Him is profound and I am humbled as I struggle to seek Him in this darkness.

Brown Out in Cupertino

03/07/2004

There was a brown out in Cupertino today. I noticed it as I tried to drive through Cupertino and couldn’t get through all the stoplights and stuff because the were down. Shops started closing down and people were all over the streets. I went back to our Cupertino house and tried to paint some more. I kept trying to convince myself that the power couldn’t possibly stay off too long. Three hours later, I gave up when I couldn’t tell if I had actually put paint on a spot of wall or not.
When I was in the Philippines, we were scheduled to have another grueling rehearsal one night. We were all tired from the traveling and non-stop performing. Then, there was a brown out. The whole island lost power, meaning we couldn’t have our rehearsal. So, a bunch of us walked down to the ocean and sat on the pier singing worship songs. Kami played guitar. It was so magical. It was one of those moments where I felt as though I didn’t need all of the modern stuff that the world gave me. I didn’t need to feel important by being in some play. I didn’t need anything but God. It felt so good to just be there among friends…all of us praising the Lord.
Memory of my first brown out there made this one seem somehow spiritual and magical. It’s like, the electricity goes out and I’m back on that pier singing to God. On the way home I sang to Him. It felt so good to be in His presence.

Painting All Night

03/06/2004

Josh and I will be moving over the next week. The place we’re living in in San Jose raised our rent. So, we’re moving somewhere that’s a bit more inexpensive and closer to Cupertino (acutally, it’s in Cupertino). I like it better than where we are now because it has a bit more space, a garage, and a neat patio with a lemon tree. I’m excited to move, but not excited to load and unload all of our stuff yet again.
Josh went with the church youth group to Hume Lake. I stayed back to get the house prepped. So, I spent all of tonight with a friend painting the place. I get frustrated because in MN I know that my whole family would show up with smiles to help me paint. Here, I asked just about everyone I know and Brian was the only one to take the call. Makes me feel a little out of place, I guess.
We only got the living room done tonight. The paint wasn’t coating very well since it’s one of those fancy textured paints. Painting seems to take forever. Tomorrow is another day and maybe I’ll get further.
I can’t explain why, but I just really want to get the whole place painted and maybe even cleaned before Josh gets back. I know he hates painting and stuff so it would be kind of a gift. Maybe he can spend his time doing something else then.

Hell to Paradise in 50 Miles

03/03/2004

It has just been brought to my attention that the Cantor Art Center at Stanford University has the largest Rodin collection outside of France. They also have a copy of his much acclaimed Gates of Hell. Also, the San Francisco Grace Cathedral has a copy of Ghiberti’s famous Gates of Paradise. It’s funny to think that I can go from Hell to Paradise in such a short drive!
I asked Josh if he wanted to take the trek someday for fun, and his hatred for San Francisco really came through. He said, “If I have to go to San Francisco to get to paradise, I’ll just stay in Stanford’s hell.”
Hee hee.

It Make Me Angry All Time

03/02/2004

I have a student whose English is pretty much non-existent. I think he really is a talkative person, but his lack of English makes it really challenging, not to mention the culture shock of coming from China to here. Anyway, on this form I have students fill out at the beginning so I can get to know them & their needs, he wrote, “My English not good. I cant speak it. I cant write it. It make me angry all time.”
Anyway, the kids are making crazy-fun portraits that tell about themselves. In his picture, this student made himself with no mouth. His t-shirt also says “Good Morning” written across it, which was taught in the English Language Development’s class that morning. It’s really interesting how images tell the story of the person who made it.

Interesting Thoughts on America

03/01/2004

I’ve been reading Sean Hannity’s book Deliver Us From Evil. I’d recommend it to liberals and conservatives and everyone in between (even though it is from a mostly conservative viewpoint). It gives an interesting perspective on America and gets you thinking. It’s also written very eloquently so it’s a thoughtful read.
Anyway, I thought this exerpt was very poignant:


Today’s moral relativism is clearly out of step with the traditions of our nation, as the Framers’ own words reveal. The foundations of our country recognized the presence of evil in the world and in human nature, and arranged the structure of the government under the Constitution to protect against its ill effects. As James Madison, the father of our Constitution, reveals in Federalist Paper No. 51, the matter of evil was very much on the Framers’ minds as they debated the form and nature of the new government.
“If men were angels,” Madison wrote, “no government would be necessary. If angels were to govern men, neither external nor internal controls on government would be necessary. In framing a government which is to be administered by men over men, the great difficulty lies in this: you must first enable the government to control the governed; and in the next place oblige it to control itself.”
Madison’s point is especially trenchant today, though the voices of the left might well deny it. Unlike our Framers, modern liberals tend to see government as the grantor of our rights. Uncomfortable with the idea of God-given natural rights, they seek to substitute their own concepts of liberty and justice — whatever they may happen to be in the moment. They prefer the idea of a “living and breathing” Constitution, one that can “change with the times.” Yet what they fail to see is exactly what Madison warned against: that a government with unchecked power — whose authority is not grounded in a more fundamental source of morality — leaves its people unprotected from evil.

Movie

03/01/2004

Well, I watched The Passion of The Christ yesterday. Kind of on a whim…but it was worth it.
Anyway, I guess I’m just kind of sick of how society is dealing with this movie. On one hand, you have loads of Christians encouraging each other to see it, excited by the dialogues that may occur thanks to the movie, interested to have a deeper understanding of Christ. On the other hand, you have people claiming that it’s anti-semitic (which I totally didn’t see at all), reviewers giving it bad ratings (and their reasoning is more on the film’s message rather than it’s storyline/plot or the artistry of how the film was done), and people claiming that it’s racist. So, it’s an interesting film to not only view in the context of Christianity, but also in the context of our culture. The many reactions to this film give an interesting look at what kind of people reside in America.

Do Ducks Have Lips?

02/28/2004

The Jr. High group at my church had an activity yesterday called “Do Ducks Have Lips?” Basically, the leaders dressed up in disguises and walked around the mall. The kids ran around and had to ask people the code phrase, “Do Ducks Have Lips?” Obviously, if someone not playing the game was asked, they’d say they don’t understand (or, “Get the f*** away from me!” as one group of kids got told). If they ask us, we need to respond with, “I don’t know, but I hear that snakes have hips.” We then sign their card and they continue on looking for people. There are prizes for the kids that find the most leaders.
Josh dressed in a fun costume, which I’ll let him describe on his own blog (lest he get angry at me…).
My costume was a red long-haired wig, glasses, a make up job with additional shadows, wrinkles, and facial moles. I wore a black dress with a blouse over it…essentially I looked normal (except my hair may have been a bit brighter than normal red). Oh, I also saran wrapped (under my dress) some socks to my body to make me look a little pudgier than usual. I sat with a stranger that I met at a table, drank my coffee, and read my book. NONE OF THE KIDS FOUND ME!!! What the heck? That totally shocked me because I thought I looked so obvious. I had several groups walk by and look right at me, but keep on walking. One group was going to ask me, but thought that I “looked busy” and didn’t want to disturb me. Another group of kids came up to my table and asked the stranger, but didn’t ask me! It was a very surreal experience.
I did get a good amount of reading done in my current literary adventure, The Life of Pi.
But, I got a Jamba Juice gift card for going stealth and having no one recognize me. Good times.

I Could Have Died Today

02/25/2004

Seriously. I was in my room over brunch talking to some girls about an upcoming contest. I was eating a green apple (Granny Smith to be exact) for my morning nourishment. Then, one of the girls said something funny and I laughed after I had just bit off a chunk of my apple. It got lodged in my throat and I couldn’t breathe. I was standing there gasping for breath (except I couldn’t even gasp, I’d open my mouth and no air would come in or out). One of the girls just stood there and said, “Are you okay? Are you okay?” Over an over. The other one was like, “I think she’s choking! Are you choking! Your face is turning red!”
I was pounding on my chest and gaging a bit. I thought, “I need to find a chair to give myself the heimlich!” One of the girls said, “Oh my gosh! You’re purple! PURPLE!” As I started standing behind a chair, I gagged and the apple came out.
Wow.
Then I thought about how much it would have stunk to go out like that. I can see the tombstone now, “Here lies Stephanie, she lived a good life, then choked on an apple.” If I die young, I hope it’s something cool like, “Here lies Stephanie, she lived a good life, then died while saving 1000 kittens and innocent children from a crazed terrorist.” Or something cool and heroic like that. Not an Apple. That’s just too pathetic.

The Fruits of My Labor

02/20/2004

Here are the sites I made using Adobe GoLive. Please keep in mind that I didn’t have any design plans when I made them because I was just making up dummy stuff to learn how to use the program. Most of the links go to random sites.
Site 1 is here.
Site 2 is here.
I guess overall I really enjoyed the experience. I only began to see what the program can do. I do think that the code can get messy in places, but overall it looks after itself really well. I really enjoyed the feature that allowed you to check for broken links. The parts that allow you to map out an image area also significantly more simple than using straight html. I think that I now have the best of both worlds: GoLive (a shortcut program) along with a working knowledge of html. Now, I just need to work on my graphic design skills and I’ll be all the rage.

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